Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger
by Mitchicus
Summary: Po and his friend Mitch prank Tigress...trying not to suffer from her wrath by their decisions. Language, a bit of violence, and sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Po sat beside the White Tiger Mitch in the kitchen, the two eating dinner. The Furious Five besides Tigress were with Shifu on a mission to a nearby village in order to maintain peace there. Tigress was training while the two friends ate their dinner early.

Mitch stopped eating and grinned at Po. "I'll give you fifty yen if you find a way to make Tigress laugh."

Po looked up at him. "So it can be jokes or anything?"

Mitch nodded. "Yep. I'll pay you once you do it, but she may try to kill you before I can pay you back."

Po grinned. "Sounds good."

The two shook hands and the deal was made. They resumed their dinner, and waited thirty more minutes until their ally arrived.

"What have you two been doing?" Tigress asked, making herself tofu and sitting at the table.

"Eating dinner early." Po answered.

"One of you has to spar with me after this, remember. You two have been alternating, so it's Mitch's turn."

"I know it's my turn, but Po has been _dying_ to spar against you." Mitch said.

Tigress raised an eyebrow. "Has he now?"

Po stuffed noodles into his mouth and nodded, not having to speak to her.

"I'll go twice in a row since Po is going in my place tonight." Mitch said, swallowing a dumpling.

Tigress nodded. "That will work out."

Po slowly finished his dinner, dreading his future ass-kicking as usual. He finished his last noodle and looked up at Tigress, who was grinning.

"Alright, let's go Po." Tigress said, and turned to the other master. "Care to watch Mitch?"

"Gladly," Mitch said as he got up from the table.

The White Tiger helped Po out of his chair and the three entered the Training Hall. Po went into his normal stance and Mitch leaned against the back wall, crossing his arms and watching them with a grin.

Tigress went into the Tiger Style stance and growled, intimidating the panda as usual. Though Po had defeated Tai Lung, who had defeated Tigress, the panda had never been able to defeat her. Tigress rushed at him and hit him in the chest with three powerful punches, knocking the wind out of him. She then side kicked him in the face, sending him to the ground.

"Come on Po, come on! Keep fighting!" Mitch encouraged but fell silent when Tigress growled at him.

Po jumped back up and tried to punch Tigress in the chest, but she ducked and kicked his knee, bending it awkwardly. Po yelped in pain before he was hit in the face with an uppercut punch. The panda rolled to the ground and slowly got up again. He ran at Tigress and she grabbed his arm, throwing him violently to the ground and pinning his arm behind his back.

Mitch winced and watched as Po yelped and began tapping the wood he was on frantically.

"Do you concede?" Tigress asked, pushing his arm back more.

"Yes, yes, I concede!" Po yelled and she let go of his arm.

Tigress went to his side and went on one knee. "Perhaps if you continue to spar against me, you will find my weakness."

"What if I already found your weakness?" Po asked, sitting up on the ground.

"Yeah, what's that?" Tigress asked.

Po reached out and grabbed her kidney, making her giggle and fall to the ground beside him. He tickled her stomach and she began laughing uncontrollably. Mitch grinned as he watched Po harass her. Tigress was laughing and rolling around on the floor, tears from laughing rolling out of her eyes.

"Po, Po, I'm going to kill you!" Tigress said as she laughed.

Po grinned and looked up to Mitch for approval but then saw that he had a look of fear on his face. Mitch mouthed one word; run. Po understood it immediately and got up, sprinting out of the Training Hall and running for a place to hide. Tigress' smile and laughing soon was gone, and she had a look of ferocity on her face. She got up and went on all fours, growling.

She looked up at Mitch. "Have you seen Po?" She demanded.

"No Ti, I haven't." The tiger responded.

Tigress growled. "Don't call me that."

Mitch nodded and motioned her to go after Po. Tigress bounded out of the Training Hall and searched the entire palace for the panda. Mitch cautiously left the Training Hall and went to the Sacred Hall of Warriors. He entered the building and went to the wall to the end of the hall, where the reflective pool lay and the One Thousand Scrolls of Kung Fu surrounded it. He went to a secret scroll and pulled it, swinging back a hidden door. The tiger looked around to make sure that Tigress was nowhere near them.

Mitch went through the door and closed it behind him, and found the Sacred Armory of Warriors lit by many torches. Weapons that were too powerful to be set in the open hall were taken down to the armory, and Tigress never knew that it existed. Po and Mitch had found it while messing around in the hall, and it was now their hiding place when they needed it for a situation like this.

"Po, where are you?" The tiger called.

The panda walked into the torchlight and smiled lightly. "She's still out to kill me?"

Mitch nodded. "Yep. She won't stop searching, and she knows that you will turn up sooner or later."

Po sighed. "She's going to tear me a new ass."

Mitch smiled and nodded.

"I have another deal." Mitch said, crossing his arms.

"Lay it on me." Po said.

"There is a pressure point in the back of a person's neck that is highly sensitive, and if grabbed, it can make a person yelp and fall to the ground." Mitch said.

Po grinned. "That sounds awesome."

Mitch nodded. "I want to try it on Tigress, and if I do, I don't have to pay you that fifty yen that I owe."

"It's a deal," Po said and held out his hand.

"Then it is settled." Mitch said and shook his friend's hand. "Now, can I try it on you first?"

"Sure," Po said and turned his back to Mitch.

The tiger grinned and grabbed the back of Po's neck, making the panda yelp and fall to the ground. The two laughed hysterically and Mitch helped Po up.

"That felt…weird." Po said.

Mitch's grin widened. "I'll bet. Now let's go do it for real."

The two got of the armory and snuck onto the roof of the building. They saw Tigress walk to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom and sit under it, beginning to meditate.

"Alright, I'll go in normal and talk to her before I hit her with the nerve grab, and you stay a distance and watch." Mitch said, and jumped off of the roof silently, beginning to walk towards the Peach Tree.

Po slid down a column and crept in the shadows, making sure not to be visible. Mitch walked down the path and sat beside Tigress, whose eyes were closed.

"Have you been talking to Po?" Tigress asked, not opening her eyes.

Mitch opened his mouth to speak but she covered his mouth with her paw. "Before you lie to me, tell me where he is."

Po backed up a bit, uncertain if his friend would reveal his location or not.

"I don't know where he is, alright?" Mitch asked.

"You lied to me again." Tigress said.

"Tigress, he was just playing a joke, you don't need to freak out like this." Mitch said and put his paw on her shoulder, comforting her.

"You're right, Mitch. Maybe I should-"

Mitch grabbed her neck and she let out a low yelp before falling back to the ground. The White Tiger burst out in laughter and Po covered his mouth so that no one could hear his own laughter. Mitch stopped laughing when he noticed that Tigress' eyes were closed and she was not moving.

"Tigress? Tigress?" Mitch said and shook her body, trying to wake her up.

Po rushed to Tigress' side and looked at Mitch with fearful eyes.

"What did you do?"

"I guess I squeezed her neck too hard, and it knocked her out." Mitch said, checking her pulse. "She's still alive, that's good."

Po stood up and began to back up. "Should we go back to hiding now?"

Mitch shook his head. "We would never escape her wrath. It's best that we step up and confess our sins against her, and apologize."

Po nodded and walked back to the two.

"Help me carry her." Mitch said, picking their unconscious tiger up and putting one paw around his shoulder.

Po put her other paw around his shoulder and the two carried Tigress to the barracks and into her room. They set her down on the bed and stood next to the door, waiting twenty more minutes until she awoke.

Tigress' eyes snapped open and she glared at the two.

"You two!" She said as she began to get out of the bed but Mitch stepped forward, motioning Po to go forward as well.

The panda did so and the two stood facing the angry feline.

"Well?"

"We both apologize for our actions." Mitch said.

"I'm sorry for tickling you and hiding from you." Po said.

"And I apologize for lying to you, gaining your trust, and then knocking you out." Mitch said.

Tigress wanted to rip them both apart anyways but took a deep breath.

"Alright. I accept both of your apologies." Tigress said.

"So we're good?" Po asked nervously.

"No more pranks and we're good." Tigress said in a cold tone.

"Deal." Mitch said and bowed with Po.

The three exited the room and had a normal day of training again. Mitch and Tigress sparred, ending in a draw. A day passed, and Po and Mitch were eating lunch while Tigress was training.

"I dare you to ask Tigress out on a date." Po said grinning.

Mitch shook his head. "Hell no! We made a deal with Tigress for no more pranks!"

"It's not a prank, it's a _dare_." Po said.

Mitch growled and then sighed. "Even if I do it, why would you want me to go out with her? Haven't you been trying to go out with her for a while?"

Po blushed and then looked at him again. "I'm a panda and you're a tiger. _She's _a tiger. There's a much better chance of you and her being together anyways, and this is just a dare man."

Mitch nodded. "Yeah, but she doesn't even like me. She's best friends with you; I'm just another ally to her."

"Then show her that you're more than ally. Show her that you're a cool guy." Po said.

Mitch nodded again. "Alright, and I won't charge you for this dare."

"Deal," Po said and they shook hands.

Mitch finished his lunch and searched the Training Hall for Tigress, not finding the feline. _She must be in her room, _he thought. The White Tiger went into the barracks just as Po was passing by.

The tiger stepped in front of the door and knocked. He leaned against the door.

"Tigress, I was wondering if-"

Tigress opened the door and he fell on top of her. His hands accidently landed on her chest and their muzzles pressed against each other. Their eyes widened.

"Umm…" Mitch managed to say before getting off of her and sprinting out of the barracks, passing Po.

"How did it go?" Po asked.

"She's going to rip me in half!" Mitch shouted as he went on all fours and ran as fast as he could down the Thousand Steps to the palace.

Tigress soon sprinted out on all fours, roaring and chasing after the White Tiger.

"Get back here Mitch!" She shouted as she continued to run after Mitch, the two vanishing into the distance as she chased Mitch through the valley and into the land beyond.

"Oh shit." Po managed to say as he shook his head, fearing for his friend's life at this rate. He then was thankful that it was not him. "Better him than me." He said chuckling and went back into the kitchen.

No one returned until the next day. Po was in the kitchen eating breakfast when Tigress walked in, making herself tofu and eating it at the table.

"Where's Mitch?" Po asked.

"I left him in a river twenty miles from here." Tigress said, eating her tofu.

"What?"

Tigress shrugged her shoulders. "He's capable of handling himself."

"You just left him to die in a river?" Po shouted.

"I guess." Tigress said.

Po shook his head and exited the room, going to the Sacred Hall of Warriors. He meditated in front of the reflective pool and took a nap as well, and three hours passed.

The doors of the hall slowly opened, and Po turned to see Mitch limp inside. Po got up and helped Mitch lay on the ground.

"What the hell did she do to you?" Po asked.

Mitch coughed a few times. His fur was bloody and matted, he had a black eye, bruises all over his body, a broken leg, a dislocated arm, and long gashes from Tigress' claws all over him.

"She pretty much raped me."

"And you just allowed it?" Po asked.

Mitch shook his head. "After we were far from the valley, I realized that she was not going to stop until she kicked my ass. I stopped running and allowed her to beat me up, knowing that there was no changing her mind and taking in the punishment of the accident that happened."

"What accident?" Po asked.

"When I went into the barracks to ask her out, she opened the door when I was leaning on it and I fell on top of her. My paws were on her…you know what's…and our muzzles were pressed against each other."

"Whoa, no wonder you got it so rough." Po said.

Mitch looked at his dislocated arm. "Can you help me put it back in place?"

Po nodded and grabbed his arm. "Ready?"

The tiger nodded and Po pulled his arm violently, putting it back in place and making the tiger grunt.

"I'm going to have to ask you for one hundred yen because of this treatment." Mitch said, sitting up.

Po smiled. "That sounds fair."

**A/N: I hope you liked the story. Do you guys want a chapter 2 for this story? If so, please tell me in the reviews/ comments. Please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **

By Mitchicus

**Part II**

**A/N: Here it is! One thing you need to know about me is that I update **_**fast**_**. I proudly give you the second chapter of this story, and I am pleased to announce that there will even be a third chapter! I don't want to spoil too much, but it will be Po and Mitch's toughest challenge yet. And now for the chapter!**

Po helped his friend down the steps.

"These stairs were a bitch getting up them." Mitch said as he limped down them.

"Yeah, I hear you buddy." Po said laughing.

The panda took the tiger into the barracks and brought him into Mitch's room. He set him on the edge of his bed and looked over at his bleeding wounds.

"She really did rape you." Po said laughing.

Mitch gave a light smile and nodded. "Can you get me that needle and thread out of my cabinet?"

Po nodded and went to his cabinet, pulling out a long thread and needle. Mitch thanked his friend and set it next to him.

"Can you get me a cast too?"

"Sure thing." Po said, and got him the materials as well.

Mitch pulled up the right leg of his pants and looked at his broken leg. He sighed and began bandaging it, and finished by putting a cast on it. He pulled the pants leg over the cast, concealing it.

"Well, that leaves it unnoticeable." Mitch said.

Po nodded and looked in the corner of Mitch's room, seeing a bamboo bow-staff.

"Can I use that?" Po asked, pointing to the staff.

Mitch nodded and picked up the needle, tying it to the thread and beginning to stitch up his open wounds. Po grinned and went over to the staff, picking it up and moving to the corner of the room in front of Mitch's bed. He spun the staff around and tossed it to his other hand behind his back.

"I can feel the awesomeness flow through me!" Po said, continuing to spin and practice with the bow-staff.

Mitch nodded and finished stitching up a wound. He then moved onto another wound on his right arm as Po began tossing it into the air, rolling on the ground, and then catching it.

"Man, I'm really good with this thing!" Po said and Mitch chuckled, finishing his latest wound.

The tiger then began suturing a long gash from Tigress' claws on his chest, grunting as he did so. Po began inching closer to Mitch, and accidently hit Mitch's arm as he stitched up his wound. This shoved Mitch's arm high into the air, pulling the needle with the thread attached with it. The thread that was dug into Mitch's skin was pulled out with the sudden pull, carrying a hunk of flesh with it.

Mitch roared in pain and clasped his chest and Po's eyes widened.

"Son of a bitch!" Mitch yelled as blood began to flow down his chest from the wound.

"Holy shit Mitch, I'm so sorry!" Po said, dropping the staff.

Mitch removed his paw and looked at the blood on it, panting. "It's alright Po, I just think that will be the last time you use my bow-staff."

Po nodded. "That's fair."

Mitch growled to himself and looked at the torn flesh on his chest. Because of the pull, the wound had been lengthened and widened in size and was gushing out blood.

"Damn it, the fur was going to grow over the scar. Now that the wound is so big, it will be completely noticeable." Mitch said sighing.

"I'm really sorry about that." Po said.

Mitch nodded. "It's ok. You didn't mean to do it."

Suddenly, Tigress walked in the room. Both of the two's eyes looked up and focused on the feline.

"Ah, so you did make it Mitch." Tigress said to the White Tiger, and turned to Po. "What did I tell you Po? He _can_ take care of himself."

She then grinned and left the room, her footsteps echoing down the hall as she left.

Mitch sighed. "She's still angry."

Po nodded. "Yeah, she can stay angry for days…and even years."

"That's a relief." Mitch said sarcastically.

"You should really get on her soft side." Po said.

Mitch turned to him. "And how do you get that?"

"Be nice to her even when she beats you up all the time. That's how I got it, and you're on the right path." The panda said.

Mitch nodded, and began to stitch the wound back up again. "That's good."

The tiger finished stitching up all of his wounds, and stood up with some difficulty.

"Do you need a crutch?" Po asked.

"If I can still walk, even if it brings me great pain," Mitch said, limping a step forward, "then I'll walk without a crutch."

Mitch limped as Po walked and they both reached the kitchen for dinner. While they were eating, Mitch got an idea.

"Hey Po?" Mitch asked.

Po looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"I think that I'm going to try and ask her out again…but this time, not for a dare." Mitch said.

Po was puzzled. "Why do you want to ask her out, knowing that you could get beat up again?"

"I see it as an apology for our…accident…and for me to make things right with her. You know, since I hit her with the pressure point and everything." Mitch said truthfully.

Po nodded and then grinned. "Is it that, or the fact that you have a crush on her?"

Mitch's face reddened and he growled. "I _do not_ have a crush on Tigress."

Po's grin widened. "Liar! I've seen you _all the time_ staring at her ass, Mitch!"

Mitch let out a louder growl. "You do the same thing, Po. I've seen you."

"At least I don't stare at her as often, _and_ drool!" Po exclaimed.

Mitch bared his fangs. "That's a little too much, Po. Alright, I do have a crush on her, you happy? Don't we all?"

Po laughed. "Yeah, you're right there."

"I guess that could be another reason why I want to try it again, but I really want to make it up with her!" Mitch said.

Suddenly, they heard booming footsteps down the hall. Mitch's eyes widened and he slammed his head on the table, ready to be beaten like he was before.

Tigress walked in and eyed the two. "Hello Po; hello Mitch." The two nodded, and she squinted her eyes. "What were you two talking about?"

"Guy things. You'd probably find it gross." Mitch lied, pulling his head up.

Tigress seemed ready to roar and rip the two apart, and the two friends held their breaths.

"Ok, it just better not be about another prank." Tigress said, not knowing their conversation.

Both of the friends exhaled.

"No, we promised never to do that again, remember?" Mitch asked.

Tigress nodded. "I remember. Mitch, meet me in the Training Hall for sparring, since you said that you would spar twice in a row." She said and left the room, leaving the two speechless.

"Oh shit man. You're going to get raped again." Po said.

Mitch sighed and leaned back in his chair. "She wouldn't care if I had my legs cut off. She'd still make me spar even then."

"Yeah," Po said. "I'll help you get there."

They finished their food and Po escorted Mitch to the Training Hall, where Tigress waited. Mitch limped up to her and bowed. She smirked and bowed as well, and then went into a stance.

Mitch balanced on his unbroken leg and moved his paws into fists, the only position to face her with his disadvantage. Tigress kicked Mitch's knee back awkwardly, making him lose his only support and tumble to the ground. He slowly pulled himself up and went back into the stance, facing Tigress. She charged at him and he rolled to the right, getting back up and going back into the stance.

Tigress smiled. "It is impressive that you can still move, even with a broken leg." She complimented.

Mitch nodded and she swung her fist at him, the tiger grabbing her paw and holding it. She then kicked him in the chest, making him roll to the ground. The tiger's stitches came out and his wounds were reopened, blood beginning to pour out of them again.

"Come on Mitch, don't quit now." Tigress said, going into a stance again.

Mitch picked himself up and looked at her. "I _never_ quit, even if I know that defeat is inevitable in battle."

Tigress smiled. "I admire your courage."

Mitch swung at her with his fist but she grabbed his arm. She grappled him to the ground, making him land on his back. She then retracted her claws on her other paw and held them in front of Mitch's throat, the tiger not flinching as she did so.

"If this was a real battle, you would be dead." Tigress said, helping up the tiger. "But lucky for you, it's not."

Mitch nodded and put pressure on a wound. "Could I talk to you alone for a second, Tigress?"

She nodded, and Po smiled before leaving the hall, but listened in on them from the crack of the doors.

"What do you want to talk to me about, Mitch?" She asked.

Mitch looked down and scraped the claws on his foot against the wood below him nervously. "Well, I was going to ask you this before I accidently fell on you, but here it goes."

Tigress nodded, crossing her arms. "I'm listening."

Mitch looked up at her. "Would you like to go out with me?"

Tigress kept an emotionless face, and Mitch expected to be attacked again at any minute.

"Sure," Tigress said.

Mitch's eyes widened. "What?"

"Sure, I'll go out with you." Tigress said, making a light smile.

"Really? No beating me up or anything?" Mitch asked.

"Unless you'd like me to." The feline said.

"No, no, I'm good." Mitch said.

"Alright, when is it?" Tigress asked, uncrossing her arms.

"Tomorrow. Dinner's at seven." Mitch said.

Tigress' smile widened. "I'll be ready. Be sure to clean up though."

She then patted him on the shoulder and went to the doors of the Training Hall. She opened the door and Po, who was leaning on the door, fell into the room.

Tigress laughed. "Hey Po." She said, and then left the hall, acting as if she did not notice Po spying on them.

The panda got up and rushed over to Mitch, patting him on the head.

"Holy shit dude! I thought you were a goner! Or are you a ghost?" Po asked.

Mitch laughed. "No, I'm perfectly alive."

"Well congrats dude! Where are you going to take her?"

Mitch slapped himself in the face with his paw. "Shit, I didn't think about where I would take her!"

"Oh no dude, she'll rip your tail off if you mess up this date!" Po said.

Mitch shook his head as he rubbed his face with his paw. "She will kill me if I don't think of something soon. I'll just have to figure it out tonight."

Po nodded. "And fast."

The two walked back to the barracks, and the two went to their rooms. Mitch then went to the bathhouse to wash up and then returned to his room and re-stitched his wounds and after actually getting an idea, fell fast asleep.

* * *

Mitch awoke and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Po was already there, and Tigress had already finished hers and left for training.

"I know where to take her, but the problem is getting supplies and food, that sort of thing." Mitch said, sitting at the table.

"Where are you taking her?"

"Wu Dan Mountain." Mitch replied. "It's a full moon tonight, so it should be romantic I guess."

"Sounds good, but who will provide the food and supplies?" Po asked.

"Po, I know that you're a good cook, so…could you make dinner for us?" Mitch asked.

Po's eyes beamed. "Yeah, of course! I'd love to!"

"Thanks Po." Mitch said smiling. "Can you help with preparing and everything as well?"

Po grinned. "This is Po's Guide to Love, and I'll give you everything you need for an awesome date."

Mitch laughed. "Alright, now what should we do for food?"

"I recommend dumplings, fried rice, shrimp, and noodles." Po said.

Mitch stood up and paced the floor, thinking of how to prepare the dinner. "What about tofu? It's Tigress' favorite."

"Yeah, I totally forgot! Tofu as well." Po said, now writing down all the foods and supplies on a scroll.

"We need big two big chairs and a large table." Mitch said, continuing to pace.

Po nodded and wrote the items down as well. "Shifu has supplies like those in the storage room."

Mitch nodded. "We need red table cloths. They have to be red, since red is Tigress' favorite color. We need candles, plenty of plates and pans for the foods, chopsticks, and a matt to go under the table and chairs. Anything else?"

"I recommend fortune cookies for dessert." Po said grinning.

Mitch laughed. "Yeah, add those."

The list was completed and the two began bringing the supplies all the way up to the mountain. It soon was six in the evening and they began making the foods. The date time drew nearer, and they finished the foods, bringing them to the mountain as well.

Mitch's wounds had begun to heal and he had actually been able to gain speed when he limped with his cast, and went to the bathhouse. Steam was coming out of it, signaling to him that Tigress was inside. He gulped down his nervousness and walked inside, waiting outside of the bath for Tigress to finish. He heard the water stop and the door opened, more steam coming out of it. Tigress stood in the doorway with a towel covering her body, her fur wet from the water.

Mitch's jaw dropped at the sight and he stood there for several moments before he blinked and closed his mouth with his paw.

Tigress grinned. "You like me wet, do you?"

Mitch's face reddened and he looked down, letting her laugh to herself and pass by him. After she had left, he went into the bath and cleaned himself off, readying for the date. He finished and wrapped a towel around his waist, carrying his dirty clothes with him back to his room. He changed into a clean pair of black pants and even put on a black with a silver secondary sleeveless vest. The vest was very similar to Tigress' vest, but it was much more masculine than her vest.

He stitched the shirt on and looked in the mirror. His fur was clean from the blood and his stitches had been covered with bandages to conceal them. His red scar over his eye was still in place, and he felt presentable to the feline. Mitch put on a tad of cologne to make himself more appealing to her, and stepped out of his room. He walked over to Tigress' room and knocked on the door, making sure not to lean on it because of last time's incident.

"Tigress, are you-"

The door opened and the beautiful Tigress showed herself to the White Tiger. She was wearing a bright red vest and pants for the occasion, and even had some red lipstick on her.

Mitch's eyes widened and he froze like stone, not moving an inch until Tigress smiled, making him flinch.

"Enjoying the view?" Tigress asked.

"Every part of it." Mitch said quickly.

"What do you think?" Tigress said, pointing to herself.

"You are the sexiest girl I have ever seen." Mitch said and Tigress stomped on his tail, making him yelp and draw back.

Tigress smiled. "Now, try that again."

Mitch cleared his throat. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

"There, that's much more appropriate." Tigress said. "Thank you for the compliment; care to escort me to our destination?"

Mitch nodded quickly, and held out his right arm. Tigress' smile widened and she took his arm, the two beginning to walk out of the barracks.

Tigress could feel her date shaking violently. "Mitch, are you that nervous?"

"Yes," He said quickly, picking up his limping step.

"You shouldn't be this nervous." Tigress said, eying him as they walked.

"I don't want to screw up and have another broken bone because of it…or lose my chances with you." Mitch said.

Tigress smiled again. "Thank you Mitch, but you shouldn't be this nervous."

"Then I'll stop the shaking." Mitch said, and immediately stopped shaking in fear.

The key to getting Tigress to like him, Mitch knew, was to do as she told or asked, don't annoy her, and agree with her _always_.

"Thanks, Mitch." Tigress said, and she looked up at Wu Dan Mountain as they approached it. "What's up there?"

"Wait and see." Mitch said smiling.

"I hate waiting." Tigress grumbled.

"It will be worth it." Mitch assured her.

Tigress nodded and they went up the mountain, eventually reaching the top. The crickets chirped and the only light for them was the full moon, which hung over the Valley of Peace. Tigress turned and gasped when she saw the setup. Everything was in place, and the candles lit the area with their light.

"Mitch…this is great." Tigress said, the two walking towards it.

Mitch exhaled, glad that she was pleased. "I'm glad you like it." He said.

Mitch reached the table and pulled back a chair, and Tigress walked to the table. He pushed it in and she sat down, looking over at the foods. Everything on the list was there, and Mitch sat down across from her at the table.

"Wow Mitch, I didn't expect you to go all out." Tigress said, picking up her chopsticks.

"I wanted to make sure that I pleased you." Mitch said.

Tigress looked around at the table and then back at the moon. "This is very romantic, Mitch. Nice choice."

"Thank you." Mitch said, and passed her a plate of tofu. "Have some tofu; I made sure that I got that for you tonight, since it's your favorite food."

Tigress' amber eyes beamed. "Wow, thanks Mitch!"

She took the plate and took a bite. As soon as the food entered her mouth, her eyes widened and her tail flicked in joy.

"Who made this tofu?"

"Po did." Mitch said. "He helped me with all of the food."

"Well, Po is an excellent cook, especially when it comes to tofu." Tigress said, taking another bite.

Meanwhile, Po watched them behind a tree while covered in the darkness. After hearing the compliment to his food, he grinned and made a silent fist pump to himself.

"So, where did you come from exactly?" Tigress asked.

"Northern mountains," Mitch replied. "I was born and raised there, became a warrior, and fought there for some time."

"Tell me," Tigress began, crossing her paws on the table, "who gave you the scar over your eye?"

Mitch felt the scar and sighed. "My brother,"

Tigress raised an eyebrow. "Rough family?"

"No. My parents died from bandits, and he became a bandit himself. After a long battle, my brother wounded me and gave me this scar." Mitch pointed to the scar. "I had to do what had to be done and…I killed him."

Tigress' ears flattened against her head. "Mitch…I'm so sorry."

Mitch nodded. "Thank you. Though it pains me to say this…I did the right thing by killing him. He was too dangerous to be left alive and so…I had to kill him."

Tigress nodded. "I understand."

Mitch gave a light smile. "Well, I guess that means we share another thing in common; we both lost our families."

Tigress nodded again.

"We both share a goal for perfection in Kung Fu, we both like to train in the rain, we both get annoyed by Po…though I'm a little more tolerable towards the panda."

Tigress made a playful growl. "Hey, watch it there Mitch."

The tiger laughed. "What else?"

"We both hate Mantis' jokes."

Mitch laughed. "Yeah, definitely."

Tigress frowned. "Mitch, may I ask why you asked me out after what I did to you?"

Mitch sighed. "I wanted to show that I had no hard feelings against you, and wanted to apologize for the nerve attack again and the accident as well. Can you forgive me for all of that?"

Tigress smiled and nodded. "I forgive you. Anything else?"

Mitch's face reddened. "Honestly, I've had a crush on you ever since I got to the Jade Palace."

Tigress laughed. "Is that why you stare at my ass when I train?"

Mitch's face reddened even more. "Oh…you know about that?"

Po put a paw over his mouth to silence his laughter and Tigress nodded.

"Yeah, it's pretty noticeable." Tigress said.

"How come you've never beat me up because of it or asked me to stop?" Mitch asked.

"If you're attracted to me like that, then it actually gives me an advantage when you're sparring against me, like you won't go as hard on me as you would if you didn't have a crush. Besides, if I needed saving from someone during a real battle, you would be much more brave and courageous to save me then you would otherwise." Tigress said.

Mitch shook his head in disbelief. "Whoa, you turn everything in life into a winning strategy for you."

Tigress laughed again. "Thank you."

Mitch nodded. "What did you think of me when you first saw me?"

Tigress pursed her lips. "I thought that you were an excellent fighter, but a bit arrogant and prideful. And I thought you were…a little cute."

She gave an embarrassed smile and he nodded.

"What about me?" Tigress asked.

"I thought that you were the greatest Kung Fu warrior I had ever seen, and also the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." Mitch said, not afraid to dump out his emotions at this rate.

Tigress blushed. "Thank you."

Mitch nodded, and sniffed the air. "What's that smell?"

Tigress laughed. "It's my perfume. You like it? I hope it's arousing to you."

Mitch covered his paw with his face in embarrassment and rubbed down, Tigress laughing while he did so.

"Are you _trying _to make me drool in front of you, because it's working so far!"

Tigress laughed again. "You _always_ drool, I don't have to try."

"This is too good." Po said, chuckling in the distance.

The two began eating again and went through the meal, finishing them all ravenously. They moved to dessert, and Tigress cracked open a cookie, reading the fortune.

"_You are very talented_." Tigress read.

"In bed." Mitch added and he burst out in laughter.

Tigress grinned and kicked him in the shin, making him stop.

"What? That's my sense of humor!" Mitch said.

"You are obscene." Tigress said laughing. "Now, you read one."

Mitch picked up a fortune cookie and cracked it open, beginning to read the fortune. "_Good things await you with the person you sit with_."

The two blushed and Mitch threw the fortune onto the table.

"Are you serious? These are the dirtiest fortunes I have ever read!" Mitch exclaimed.

Tigress laughed and ate the fortune cookie on her table. "I think that's enough fortunes."

Mitch nodded, and stood up when Tigress indicated that she was ready to leave. He went behind her chair and pulled it back, allowing her to get up.

"Well, thanks for coming." Mitch said smiling.

"Thank you for everything, Mitch." Tigress said and wrapped her paws around Mitch's neck.

She leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the lips, his eyes widening as she did so. She broke the kiss and grinned at his expression, and then let go of his neck.

"You like that?"

"Every second." Mitch replied, his entire body like stone again.

Tigress snapped her fingers in front of his face, breaking his stance.

"Alright, let's go back." Tigress said and Mitch escorted her back to the barracks.

Po was grinning ear to ear. He took what he could carry with him down the mountain, and went towards the barracks.

"I hope they don't get physical." Po said, laughing to himself.

He set down what he carried in the kitchen and went into Mitch's room, finding the tiger grinning from ear to ear.

"You have fun?" Po asked.

"I enjoyed every second." Mitch said.

"I have to say that I'm glad you too didn't get rough."

Mitch shook his head and laughed.

"Well, it looks like she really likes you!" Po said.

Mitch laughed. "Maybe, but it's not much of a competition for her without you in the race, my friend."

Po grinned. "Yeah, maybe I'll join in! All of your chances of being with her will be gone with my panda charms captivating her!"

The two burst out in laughter, echoing throughout the barracks.

**A/N: And there is Chapter 2! I hope you all liked it, and I hope you all found it just if not more funny than the first! Next chapter is going to be wild. It involves Tigress and wine; what can go wrong? Please leave your thoughts in the comments/ reviews! Thank you all for leaving your thoughts so far! Please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Chapter 3

**A/N: I finally present chapter three! However, I need a lot of reviews for this chapter to make a fourth. I just need to know if you guys still love this story, and sorry if you guys were angry about chapter 2. That won't influence this chapter or the next one.**

Mitch limped to his room, going to his drawer. He opened it and scanned the space for clothes to wear on the special occasion. He found his Japanese Kimono robes there, and he picked them out of the drawer. He had worn them when in Japan several months ago, fighting with the Samurai in one of their civil wars. His battle armor was even in another corner of the room.

He wanted to make himself look like a decorated, seasoned warrior and searched for the medal the emperor gave him. He finally found it and put it around his thick neck, now looking for his Katana sword. If he was going to look like a Samurai, he would need that sword.

He went to the armor and found the sword on a rack beside it. He picked up the blade and strapped it to his side, now ready.

"What's going on?" Po asked, hurrying into the room and noticing the tiger's attire. "What's with all that?"

Mitch grinned. "I saw a girl down at the valley…I'm going to ask her out."

"No way man! Who is she?"

"I'm not telling you." The tiger chuckled and crossed his arms.

"What about Tigress?"

Mitch sighed. "I love her like a sister, but not like I would a wife."

Po laughed. "Wow, you just slammed her alright! You better not go tell her that!"

"Tell me what?" Tigress said in the distance.

Both of the boys' eyes widened and Mitch gave the panda a death glare.

"What should he not tell me about?" Tigress asked, stepping into the room.

"Um…" Mitch began. "He said that I shouldn't tell you that I'm going out with someone else." The tiger said biting his lip.

"Who is she?" Tigress asked with an emotionless face.

Mitch looked down. "I don't know."

"And you're going out with someone you don't know?" Tigress asked, putting her paws on her hips.

"He saw a cute girl down at the valley and without even going up to talk to her, automatically assumes that she will go out with him." Po said grinning.

Tigress smiled.

Mitch growled. "She'll go out with me even when I walk up to her all of a sudden and ask her out." The tiger said confidently.

"I have full confidence in you buddy." Po said as he put his paw on Mitch's shoulder.

"Don't push it." Mitch growled and Po removed his hand.

Mitch walked past them and turned around, leaning against the doorway.

"I'll be gone for a few hours. Don't try anything stupid, Po."

Po tried to interject but Tigress stopped him.

"If he's learned anything from your treatment, he won't do a thing." Tigress said.

Mitch smiled and nodded before walking out, leaving the two in Mitch's room.

Tigress turned to Po. "I'll be training for a while. Goodbye Po."

"See you later Tigress." Po said as she left the room for the Training Hall.

The panda soon left, heading to the kitchen. He ate lunch early, and sat at the table thinking of things to do. Lately, he had been extremely bored thanks to pranks being banned.

The panda sighed and twiddled his thumbs, thinking of things to do. He even thought of going to the valley's bar. He didn't drink ever, but he was that bored. Then an idea hit him; a hilarious prank.

He knew that Mitch and Tigress commanded him to do no more pranks, but he couldn't resist. He would get Tigress drunk and see what a fool she made out of herself. When she would fall asleep afterwards, he would put her in her bed and tell her it was a dream she had.

The plan was excellent to the panda. Now all he needed to do was get the alcohol.

"Just one bottle of wine?" The storekeeper asked.

"Yes sir." The panda said.

The storekeeper nodded and went to the back of the shop, finding a bottle of the liquor and handing it to the panda after he gave him the money for it.

"Have a good day Dragon Warrior." The storekeeper said bowing.

"And to you." Po said with a bow and walked back towards the palace, carrying the wine.

He walked up the long steps and went into the kitchen, finding no one inside. He went to the counter and found a jug, and he poured the wine into it. Another factor of the plan was how to get Tigress to drink it, and he knew just how to do it.

He found a large cup and poured part of the wine in that, readying it for Tigress. He took the jug and the cup to the table, where he sat and waited for the feline. Soon he heard her powerful footsteps and turned to see her behind him.

"What are you doing?" Tigress asked.

"I was waiting her for you." Po answered.

"What for?" The feline asked.

"I wanted you to try this new drink." Po said, showing her the cup.

Tigress had actually never seen wine before, but had certainly heard of it. Because of never seeing it, she did not know the drink was wine.

"Is it like a fruit drink?" Tigress asked as she cocked her head to the side, studying it.

Po nodded. "Made of all kinds of fruits. Try it."

The panda handed her the cup. Tigress took a sip from it and her eyes widened, her tail flicking in the air.

"What is this stuff? It's amazing!" Tigress asked.

Po bit his lip. "That's um Vono." He said, quickly making up a fake name.

"This is really good! Thanks Po!" Tigress said before drinking the rest. "Do you have any more?"

The panda nodded and took her cup, pouring more wine into it. The feline took it again and drank it all down. She drank all of the wine eventually, beginning to become drunk. She leaned against the table, for she was off balance.

Po was smiling to her, but was laughing hysterically inside. Tigress fell to the ground, laughing at her clumsiness drunkenly. She slowly picked herself up and looked at Po, her head shifting positions constantly.

"I…think…I should…go get…some rest…" Tigress said and walked drunkenly out the hall, going into her room and collapsing on the bed.

Now that she was asleep, Po let all of his laughter out, slapping the table as he laughed. Around two hours later he heard the doors open and Mitch walked in with a grin. Po turned to him.

"How was the date?" Po asked.

"Awesome, pure awesomeness." The tiger said as his grin widened.

"You two make out or something?" Po asked.

"Yeah, after deciding to be boyfriend and girlfriend." Mitch said.

"You've got to be kidding me! After one date?"

Mitch nodded. "It was love at first sight."

"That's awesome my friend!" Po said.

"So what did you do while I was gone?" Mitch asked, taking off his Katana and medal and setting them on the kitchen table.

Po grinned. "You won't believe it! I got Tigress drunk on wine!"

Mitch's eyes widened. "You what?"

"I got her drunk, and it was hilarious!" Po said as he continued laughing like a clown.

Mitch put both of his hands on the sides of his head and shook his head. "That's not good, not good! Why the hell did you do that?"

"What's wrong with it?" Po asked smiling.

"Don't you realize what you've done? Besides, you agreed to no pranking! She's a ferocious warrior and now that she's drunk, she could think we're her enemy, do something stupid, kill us, etc.!"

Po realized his mistake and his jaw dropped. "Um…I never thought of that…but she's asleep and she won't do any harm-"

They heard Tigress move drunkenly her room and they held their breath. She didn't leave the room, and they sighed with relief.

"It's not over yet." Mitch said, looking in the feline's direction. "Go see what she's doing."

"Why me?" Po complained.

"Because you are the one that got her drunk!" Mitch growled.

"Fine, I'll go." Po said in defeat as he slowly walked toward Tigress' room.

He heard nothing, and thought that she was asleep again. He creaked open the door before Tigress pounced him, pinning him on the ground. Po's eyes widened before she kissed him passionately, moving her tongue into his mouth. She broke the kiss and grinned at him.

"I'll bet you've wanted that for a while, haven't you Po?" Tigress asked.

The panda was speechless.

Tigress giggled. "Now, I think I know what we both want. Mate with me, Po."

Po tried to get up and away from her but she was pinning him down.

"No, no, no! You're not going anywhere." Tigress purred.

"Tigress, snap out of it!" Po pleaded.

"I've always loved you, Po. Now that I share my feelings, why do you not do the same?" The tiger asked.

Po did not say anything, but continued to try and wiggle away from her.

Tigress became agitated now, and continued to hold him down. Po made the decision that this had gone too far and used all of his strength to shove her off of him, the tiger rolling to the floor. He jumped up and ran down the hallway, yelling for Mitch to try and warn him.

Mitch appeared at the end of the hall, wondering what was wrong.

"What's going on?" Mitch demanded.

"Run like hell! Run like hell! She's going to rape us!" Po screamed as he ran past Mitch.

The tiger was puzzled and then noticed Tigress on all fours sprinting towards him.

"Oh shit!" He yelled as he turned to run and began to limp as fast as he could from her.

His wounds slowed him down too much, and Tigress caught up with him. She tackled the White Tiger and pinned him on the ground, getting on top of him just as she had with Po.

Mitch turned to see Po running from the scene, leaving his friend to the drunken tiger.

Tigress suddenly licked Mitch's muzzle with her rough tongue, the White Tiger's eyes widening.

"If Po won't do it," Tigress said, "then you can; mate with me, Mitch. Give me cubs."

"What the fuck?" Mitch managed to say as he tried to get her off of him but she held him down.

"You are not running away too. You will mate with me!" She said angrily.

"No," Mitch said bravely.

"What was that?" Tigress said through gritted teeth.

"I will not do it." Mitch said.

Tigress roared. "If you will not mate with me, then you will _die_."

She retracted her claws and grabbed Mitch's throat, digging into his flesh and choking him.

_This is it, _Mitch thought. _I'm dying because Po wanted to have a little laugh_.

Mitch's vision began to blacken, and he knew this was it.

Suddenly, a fist hit Tigress in the face and knocked her off of Mitch, knocking the feline unconscious.

Mitch grasped his bloody throat gasping and looked up at the tigress that saved him.

"I just saved your ass right there, Mitch." The female said and reached out her hand, helping Mitch up.

Mitch smiled. "Hey Ryu, I didn't think you'd come to visit so soon."

Ryu was a South Chinese Tiger with jet black eyes. She was covered in black, and one would mistake her as a ninja assassin by her appearance. She wore a vest exactly like Tigress' but it was black with white edges. On the front left side of her outfit was a red dragon pattern, and a yin and yang symbol was on her vest where her v-neck ended. A white sash was around her, and she wore slick black pants. A red necklace was around her neck like a collar, and a blood red Rose was held on her ear, which she only put on during special occasions.

She was independent, intelligent, strong-hearted, loyal and sometimes sarcastic. She had a dry sense of humor, but was dead serious when she fought in battle. She became really pissed when people would act immature or foolish. She was also not very fond of children or men for that matter, but Mitch was an exception.

This is why Mitch loved her; her looks, personality…everything. They were made for each other, and that is why they got together so quickly.

"I saw a panda come out screaming and I knew something was up." The tigress said smiling. "But I didn't know if it was you that was causing the trouble."

Mitch laughed. "No, it was technically _her_, but the panda got her drunk."

Ryu nodded. "I see. I'm just happy you're alright; thanks to me of course."

Mitch laughed. "Yeah, I owe you there."

Po suddenly came in. "I found your girlfriend! Glad you're alright Mitch!"

"She actually found you Po." Mitch said, and Ryu nodded. "Ryu this is Po, Po this is Ryu."

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Po said shaking her paw. "Mitch went in quite a frenzy when he saw you! He came back making sure to put on the right things to impress you! Damn, he was psyched!"

"Was he now?" Ryu said grinning and turning to Mitch, making the tiger blush.

"I didn't know that you were watching me before you came up to me; are you a stalker Mitch?" Ryu asked.

Mitch frowned and Po and Ryu laughed.

"No I'm not a stalker. I was just captivated by your beauty, Ryu."

"Aw, that's cute." Ryu said smiling as she stroked Mitch's cheek. "But it's still creepy."

The two laughed again until Po looked at the still unconscious Tigress.

"So…what are we going to do now?" Po asked.

Mitch scratched his scar. "Take her back into her room; she's probably going to wake up soon, after the hangover."

"So…how are we going to explain it to her?" Po asked.

"You're going to explain it to her and apologize." Mitch said.

"But…but…"

"No buts. You pranked when you swore never to do it again and you nearly got me killed, not to mention that she raped me." Mitch said.

Ryu nodded. "Some girls just can't resist to rape guys."

Mitch and Po's eyes widened and they looked at Ryu.

The feline looked down. "Um…sorry…that was awkward…just trying to make conversation here."

"It's ok." Mitch said hugging her. "Everyone gets raped every once in a while."

The three laughed and then carried Tigress back to her room, setting her on her bed. Ryu and Mitch turned to leave, and Po did the same but they stopped them.

"The alcohol is worn off. You're going to talk to her about what you did and apologize, then she's going to finally kick your ass for what you've done." Mitch said.

"Are you kidding me? Hell no!"

"I got my ass kicked and was thrown into a river because of you a while ago, remember? The least you can do is face the consequences of your actions!" Mitch said.

Po sighed. "Alright, I'll learn my lesson. Sorry about this, I was just trying to have fun."

Mitch sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "You just need to stop that stuff. We can still be friends of course. Good luck Po; you're going to need it."

"Oh thanks, that makes me feel so much better." Po said sarcastically as the two tigers left the room, leaving him with Tigress.

Soon Tigress opened her eyes, filled with anger.

"Alright, let me explain what happened-"

"I know everything that happened, Po." Tigress said.

"You do?" Po asked in a shocked tone.

Tigress nodded, getting out of her bed. "Once I was drunk I realized it was wine that you gave me, and I could not control myself. Is Mitch alright? You know, I didn't kill him?"

"No, his girlfriend came in and saved him." Po said.

Tigress nodded. "That's good. Now, let's go have a relaxing spar. Well, I can call it relaxing since I get to put all my anger of this out on you."

"Oh yippee." Po said as he and Tigress walked out of the barracks for the Training Hall.

Mitch and Ryu watched from the rooftop of the Sacred Hall of Warriors, enjoying the romantic atmosphere of a full moon, the bright stars, and a breeze.

"I'm really happy you didn't get hurt too bad. We just met." Ryu said, embracing him.

Mitch nodded. "I was hoping I didn't die so that I could see you again; looks like I got my wish."

Ryu smiled and kissed him passionately, then rolled him onto his back, getting on top of him and continuing to kiss him.

Mitch grinned as this was happening. Ryu stopped and looked at him.

"Why are you grinning like that?" She asked smiling.

Mitch chuckled. "I just realized this is the first time that I get the last laugh and I'm not the one in pain."

The two laughed.

**A/N: And that concludes chapter 3! Hope it was just as funny as the previous chapters and you loved the new twists and turns! Sorry for the long time since the last chapter. I'll start chapter 4 now. So you guys know, Ryu is an OC owned by XxFlameheartxX, whom I got permission from to use in this story and my upcoming story, Apocalypse Now. Flameheart, thanks for everything! I'm so glad to be able to have Ryu in my stories! In the next chapter, Ryu invites the three warriors of the Jade Palace to a party with her friends…and things get wild. No alcohol, but you will see TiPo! Please review, share, comment, and as always, no flames!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's another chapter of HTT! I wanted to get this out faster so I could take a break from the exhausting Po Pilgrim (with one chapter left, which will arrive in about two weeks). By the way, an OC from Po Pilgrim is in here…se if you can find her. Anyways, here's another chapter of my most hilarious story yet!**

Five days after the events of the previous chapter.

Po ducked as a bandit's sword swung over his head before punching the wolf in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He grabbed his head with both hands and pulled it down, slamming his face against his knee and knocking him out cold.

Meanwhile, Mitch hit a leopard with a single uppercut punch, sending the leopard into a wall and knocking him unconscious. Tigress hit two enemies with a single double kick, knocking them to the ground. Tigress and Mitchicus hit the wolves on the backs of their heads, knocking them unconscious.

Soon, the raid on the valley was repelled by the three masters. The three tied up the bandits and sat on the ground beside them, taking a rest after the fighting.

"Well, that was another walk in the park." Mitch said.

"We did not just walk in a park." Po said.

Mitch rolled his eyes and looked at the panda. "It's an expression, Po."

"Oh…now I'm embarrassed." The panda said, making the two tigers laugh.

"By the way, Zheng delivered a letter from Shifu today; I was about to tell you guys but the bandits came." Mitch said.

"What did it say?" Tigress asked.

"To sum it up, Shifu and the others won't be back until several more months, for they are battling a bandit group that constantly raids the area." Mitch said.

Po sighed with relief. "Good, I like all this time to ourselves. My two best friends and me with the palace to ourselves; can't get better than that."

Tigress nodded. "I'll admit, I'm glad that Monkey and Mantis aren't here; it's bad enough that I've had to deal with Po's pranks for a while until you finally stopped, but they won't stop. That's why it's good that they're not here; they'll just keep pranking me."

"Mitch and I will talk to them about it." Po said.

Tigress smiled. "Thanks Po."

Po smiled back at her. "You're welcome. By the way, thanks for not breaking any bones in that spar after I got you drunk."

Tigress nodded. "You're welcome, and you're lucky; I was feeling merciful then."

Po nodded quickly. "I'm glad that you were merciful then."

One of the bandits regained consciousness, tugging at his ropes.

"Oh look, one of them is up." Tigress said getting up and standing over the bandit.

The bandit looked up at her, seeing her as threatening him. "Please sexy girl, don't hurt me."

Tigress snarled before Po spoke up.

"Why is it that all the bandits that we meet hit on Tigress. I mean yeah she is sexy but-"

Tigress glared at him, the panda looking down.

"Um…sorry…I said too much." Po said.

Mitch chuckled, slapping Po on the back. "You shouldn't push your luck, Po."

"I know." Po said.

"You need to take more advice from me. Hi I'm Dr. Mitch, here to make sure that you don't make a fool out of yourself." Mitch said.

Po laughed nervously, looking up at Tigress, who held an emotionless face.

"Mitch is right, don't push it." Tigress growled.

"Yes ma'am." Po said.

Tigress nodded. "Good, now help me take these guys up to the dungeon."

She grabbed the rope holding one of the groups of bandits and began dragging them up the Thousand Stairs.

"Dammit, I hate these stairs; now I have to carry four guys up them." Po grumbled.

"You'll make it." Mitch encouraged before Po groaned, beginning to take his portion of the bandits up the steps.

"Are you Mitch?"

The White Tiger turned around to see a female grey wolf. She had blue eyes and wore a silver vest and silver pants.

"Yes, I am." Mitch said smiling.

"My name is Brianna. I'm a friend of Ryu. She wanted me to come and tell you this, because she is busy preparing the party."

"Party?" Mitch asked, getting excited at the sound of the word.

"Yes, she's holding a party at her house, and she has invited you, the Dragon Warrior, and Master Tigress." The wolf said.

Mitch smiled and nodded. "We'll be there. What time and where is her home at?"

"Do you know of Lake Chu, just outside of the valley?" Brianna asked.

Mitch nodded. "I've past it many times."

"Her house is the only house just off the lake, it's easy to notice it. You should get there at five but most of the guests don't arrive until seven."

Mitch nodded again. "Got it. We'll be there on time."

Brianna nodded. "I'll see you there." She pursed her lips. "Say, you aren't taken, are you?"

Mitch smiled. "Sorry, but I'm taken."

"Ok. Nice meeting you though." Brianna said, shaking his hand.

"Nice meeting you too, Brianna." Mitch said.

She smiled and turned, walking down the street deeper into the valley.

"I think she likes you." A bandit said as he struggled with the ropes bounding him.

"Maybe, but regardless," Mitch said, grabbing the rope and giving it a tug. "you and your friends are still going to jail."

The bandits groaned as they were dragged up the steps.

* * *

"Po, Tigress, I have an announcement!" Mitch yelled into the barracks, the two slowly coming out.

"What is it?" Tigress asked.

"My girlfriend has invited us to a party tonight." Mitchicus said.

Tigress shook her head. "I can't go; I have to train."

"Come on Tigress!" Po begged. "You need to go out and have some fun once and a while!"

Tigress looked at Mitch and the White Tiger smiled and then nodded.

"Alright; I'll go."

"Yes!" Po said loudly with a fist pump, his happiness fading when Mitch and Tigress stared at him.

"Ok…that was a little too much enthusiasm." Po said.

"Uh huh, now put something on nice please; I don't want you guys to be coming in normal attire to show my girlfriend." Mitch said.

"I have nothing else to wear!" Po complained.

Mitch face palmed. "You're sure about that?"

"Absolutely sure!" The panda said.

Mitch sighed. "Fine, then you don't have to wear anything different."

"Yes!" The panda said enthusiastically, receiving a glare from the tiger. "I'm sorry I have nothing else to wear."

"I know what I'll wear." Tigress said, going into her room.

Mitch looked at the panda. "Wait at the courtyard while we get what we need on."

"I'll just wait here, if you don't mind."

Mitch went into his room, opening his drawer and finding a sleeveless vest. The vest was black with silver trims, and he put it on. He went out of the room and found Po, and stood next to him as they waited for Tigress.

Suddenly, the door slid open, revealing the tiger. Po's jaw dropped. Tigress was wearing a pure red vest with silver pants and she also wore red lipstick (but not too great an amount).

Tigress smiled at Po's reaction.

"Well, what do you guys think?" Tigress asked grinning.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." Po said quickly, receiving the same stares he had gotten not too long ago.

"Um…thank you. I may not be very feminine, but I still know what to wear." Tigress said.

Mitch smiled. "You look awesome, Tigress. I'll bet Po here would like you to wear it every day now."

Tigress glared at Mitch, only making the White Tiger chuckle.

"Now let's get going, I don't want to keep Ryu waiting."

* * *

"Well, that's it." Po said, looking at the house in the distance. "Damn Mitch, is your girlfriend rich or something? Look at the size of that monster!"

"That's what she said." Mitch grumbled.

"What was that?" Tigress asked.

"Nothing." Mitch said quickly.

"I thought I heard some sex joke or something." Tigress said, crossing her arms.

"No, I was just murmuring that a girl I knew said that when she saw a big house too." Mitch lied.

"Uh huh." Tigress said.

Mitch sighed. "Alright, I have messed up humor. Are you happy now?"

Tigress said nothing, and Mitch sighed. "Alright, let's just get to the party."

The three walked beside the water, nearing the home. They went up stone steps and went to the door, knocking on it. Soon they heard footsteps behind it, and the door opened.

Ryu stood at the doorway, smiling at them. She was wearing a black vest and black pants, still wearing the necklace and red rose that she had been wearing five days ago.

Mitch's jaw dropped. "Um…Ryu…you look awesome!"

"Don't try and hide that I'm the most beautiful girl you've ever seen." Ryu said grinning.

"Alright, I admit that." Mitch said, laughing nervously.

Ryu laughed and turned to the others. "Thank you for coming to the party! Any friend of Mitch is my friend."

"Glad we could come." Po said smiling, and Tigress smiled and nodded.

"Trust me, it will be a blast." Ryu said, leading them into the home.

The three looked around. They were in a large living room, which held armchairs, couches, and paintings on the walls. The floor was smooth wood, and they went deeper into the home. They found a large kitchen (which Po immediately fell in love with), an upstairs with several bedrooms and a balcony, and even a large room dedicated for Kung Fu training.

The training room had weights, weapons, a sparring area, targets for bow and arrows or Shurikens, and a spot for meditation with candles around it. Wooden dummies lay broken in the corner.

"You take your Kung Fu seriously, Ryu." Po complimented. "A whole house and Kung Fu room to yourself; you're really lucky!"

Ryu nodded solemnly. "I guess so, but I get lonely sometimes. I just wish that I could have it all with someone to share it with. Now that person is here."

Ryu grinned at Mitch, making the tiger's face go red.

"Alright, now let's head outside." Ryu said, beginning to walk from the room.

"Wait, so your house has an outside too?" Po asked.

Ryu smiled and nodded.

Po went to Mitch and whispered in his ear. "You pick your women well, Mitch."

Mitch nodded. "I know right?"

"Soon you two will be making babies and-"

Mitch grabbed Po's throat, making the panda tap out and then finally releasing his grip.

"Watch it, panda." Mitch said sternly.

The four walked through a doorway, finding themselves outside again. The ground was smooth stone, and in front of them was a pool.

"POOL!" Po shouted before running towards it, taking a large jump in the air and making a cannonball into the water.

His impact shot water all directions, hitting the three tigers outside of the pool. They were not reacting like lions to water (lions can't stand water), but they were upset that their nice clothes were now wet.

"Well, now that I'm wet, I don't see why not." Mitch said as he started running towards the pool.

He jumped high in the air, doing three quick flips before cannonballing into the water.

The water hit the two girls again.

"Stop that!" Tigress commanded, making the two guys laugh as they treaded water.

Ryu grinned at Mitch. "You are going to pay for that!"

She made a playful growl and sprinted towards the pool, jumping towards Mitch. Mitch yelled before she jumped on top of him, sending them both deep into the water. Mitch stuck his head out of the water gasping for air before Ryu grabbed the back of his head and pulled him under again.

Po laughed at the sight, but Tigress folded her arms and stood there. Po went to the edge of the pool where Tigress stood, and held onto the wall of it.

"Tigress, I'm done swimming. Can you help me out?" Po asked, outstretching his hand to her.

Tigress nodded and took his hand; a great mistake. Po pulled her into the pool, Tigress plunging headfirst into it. Po laughed until Tigress came up treading water, glaring at him.

"Sorry, it was just a joke-"

Instead of attacking or drowning him, Tigress splashed the panda, grinning.

"Oh so that's how it is?" The panda asked before splashing her back.

Mitch shot out from under the water gasping, Ryu following him shortly after.

"I've never had an underwater kiss before." Mitch said smiling.

"Now you have." Ryu said grinning.

The two saw Po and Tigress splashing each other.

"I see something more going on there. What do you think?" Mitch asked.

Ryu smiled. "I think they're in love. Just like us."

Mitch smiled and nodded before being plunged underwater again.

Tigress grabbed Po's head and plunged him under the water playfully. She felt…strange. Po was right; she needed to have more "fun". She didn't laugh much anyways, and now it felt…healthy to do so.

Mitch came out of the water once more, Ryu following him. They wanted to pull a joke on the two. Mitch told Ryu his plan, and she nodded. They both went underwater, swimming towards the two. Soon they were upon them. Mitch jumped out of the water, grabbing Tigress and throwing her underwater. Po burst out laughing before he was grabbed by Ryu and thrown underwater as well.

Tigress and Po burst out of the water gasping, yet laughing. Mitch and Ryu laughed as well, not stopping until they turned to see Brianna there.

The wolf smiled. "Sorry, I'm I intruding or something."

Ryu shook her head. "No. Say, could you get us some towels?"

Brianna smiled again. "Of course."

The wolf turned and went back into the house. The four climbed out of the pool, sitting on the edge as they waited for the towels.

Ryu looked at her clothes and drenched fur. "Ah man, now this is all messed up."

Mitch put his paw on her shoulder. "You look beautiful either way."

Ryu smiled. "Ah, thanks."

She hugged Mitch, the two staying that way until Brianna returned. The wolf handed each a towel, the four drying themselves out and going to sit on large stones around a fire pit. The three looked around at the outside. Bamboo grew behind the stone, and the pool had a clear view of the lake. The home and its surroundings were very beautiful.

"Damn Ryu, your home is awesome!" Po complimented.

Ryu nodded solemnly. "My master was a rich man; he left me with all of this."

Mitch put his paw back on her shoulder. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Ryu smiled lightly and rested her own paw on his. Soon it was seven, time for the guests to arrive. Wolves, tigers, leopards, and lions came. Most were female (friends of Ryu of course), but all seemed like they had been there before. Evening came along with the guests, and torches were lit to keep light in the home and its outside. The fire was lit as well, many of the guests sitting around it and talking.

Po, Mitch, Ryu, and Tigress sat on the floor in a circle inside of the living room, more of Ryu's friends sitting with them. An empty wine bottle was in the center of the circle. A guy would spin it, and when it stopped and pointed at a girl, he would have to kiss that girl. If it landed on another guy…well…that would be an awkward moment until he spun the bottle again.

"Come on Po, I dare you." Mitch said grinning.

The girls around the circle, except Ryu and Tigress, giggled. They wouldn't mind getting a kiss from the Dragon Warrior after all.

Po blushed, looking around at the girls then back at Mitch. "You really want me to spin?"

Mitch nodded. "Every other guy here has, and I'll be spinning after you."

"Alright, here it goes." Po said, leaning forward and putting his paw on the side of the bottle.

His heart was pounding. He was so nervous of who it would be. If it was Ryu, Mitch would kill him probably. He certainly didn't want that to happen.

The panda slapped the bottle hard, making it spin quickly on the floor. The bottle began to slow, and Po held his breath. The bottle stopped, pointing at _her_. It was pointing at Tigress.

Everyone gasped. Tigress looked down at the bottle, her eyes widening. Po was frozen, his eyes widened as he stared down at the bottle. He didn't think about her.

Tigress shook out of her trance. "Um…I think I'll pass."

The tiger started to get up but Mitch grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Come on Tigress! Everyone is going! Like Po said, you need to have more fun!" Mitch encouraged her, making the girls around the circle giggle and the guys to chuckle.

Tigress turned to Po, the two staring at each other. They both slowly leaned forward, now only a lip's distance. They closed their eyes and made a quick kiss before pulling back, opening their eyes again.

Surprisingly, instead of laughing at them, Mitch and the others clapped.

"Way to go Po!" Mitch said, patting him on the back.

Tigress stared down at the floor, and Po looked around the room trying to figure out what just happened.

"I'm going to get some food really quickly." Ryu said, giving Mitch a quick kiss on the cheek before getting up and going to the kitchen.

Suddenly, Brianna entered the room and sat beside Mitch. The White Tiger's eyes widened, remembering what she had asked him earlier that day.

"Hey Mitch! You remember me, right?" Brianna asked.

Mitch nodded. "How could I not? I just met you today."

She put her arm around him, making his eyes widen even more. "How about you come to my place after the party's over?"

"Um…I told you that I'm taken." He said quickly.

"Ryu will never have to know." The wolf whispered in his ear.

"Um…maybe some other time." Mitch lied.

She nodded. "That sounds good. I can hardly wait." She turned to the bottle in the center. "I think it's time that girls get to spin." She said before spinning the bottle, intentionally stopping it on Mitch.

Those around the circle laughed. Brianna smiled and leaned forward, closing her eyes. Mitch leaned backward, trying to evade her. Suddenly she turned to see Ryu towering over her.

"Lay off, Brianna. He's mine." Ryu said.

Brianna whimpered and got up, going into another room. Ryu sighed and sat back next to Mitch.

"She's the flirtiest girl I know. I'm glad I got back in time." Ryu said.

Mitch nodded. "I am too. No one will ever replace you."

Ryu smiled and leaned in to kiss him but he put out his hand in protest, grinning. Ryu was puzzled.

"Uh, uh, uh, not yet Ryu." Mitch said grinning. "I call this next spin for Nine Minutes in Heaven."

The girls giggled and hoped that it landed on them. Mitch spun the bottle and intentionally stopped it on Ryu.

Ryu grinned, realizing what he wanted. "So soon, eh?"

The girls laughed as Mitch and Ryu stood up.

"I'm tired of waiting." Mitch said grinning.

"Have fun you two!" A lioness said, named Nera.

Mitch and Ryu laughed before they hurried up the stairs to the next floor together, heading for the bedroom.

Nera laughed. "They're not coming back down for a long time. I hope we don't hear them."

All but Po and Tigress laughed, who were still in trances. Tigress shook out of hers and slowly stood up.

"I'm going to go get some fresh air." Tigress said before hurrying out of the room.

Po slowly snapped out of his and turned in Tigress' direction. "Tigress…wait!"

Po went near the pool, searching for her. He looked around, not finding a trace. He saw Brianna and ran up to her.

"Have you seen Master Tigress?" The panda asked.

Brianna turned, irritated by his interruption. "Excuse me, I'm trying to hit on some guys!"

"Have you seen her?" Po demanded.

"Yes, she climbed up on the roof. Did you piss her off or something?" Brianna asked.

"I don't know…thanks anyways." Po said before heading back towards the house.

He looked at the wall, then a column beside it. He jumped onto the column and wrapped his arms and legs around it for a grip. He began to climb up, eventually reaching the roof.

"Tigress? Tigress?" Po called, turning to see Tigress sitting on the edge of the roof. Her arms were on her legs, the feline looking up at the full moon.

"Hey Po." She said solemnly.

Po sat beside her, looking up at the moon as well.

"What's wrong?" Po asked.

Tigress bowed her head. "Do you remember when Shen shot you out of the firework factory?"

Po nodded. "That hurt."

Tigress smiled lightly before frowning again. "I thought you were dead, Po; and I would never see you again." She looked at him with sad eyes. "When I saw you on top of that building, defying Shen and his army, I was overjoyed that you were alive. Right then and there; I knew that I felt something more with you, more than being best friends. I guess I somewhat felt that at the prison, but I was certain when you showed up. But I was afraid. Afraid that I might lose you along the way; afraid of what you would think of my thoughts. Po, I have something to tell you that I haven't been able to tell you for so long. I love you."

Po was frozen. Here was the girl of his dreams that he had called so hardcore that she couldn't feel anything…confessing her feelings that she loved him.

Tigress leaned forward and hugged him, snapping him awake. He hugged her back.

"I love you too, Tigress. I've always loved you. From the first moment I heard about you, to when I first met you, from when you told me I was a disgrace to Kung Fu to telling me that I was hardcore, I have always loved you." Po said.

Tigress smiled and kissed him. It was not a small kiss like earlier, but a long passionate kiss. Their eyes were closed as they enjoyed the other's lips. They slowly broke away, opening their eyes and smiling at each other.

"We should get back to the party." Tigress said, getting up.

She helped Po up and they both looked up at the moon.

"It's beautiful. Just like you." Po said, Tigress turning and smiling at him.

"Thanks Po."

Po nodded and the two hopped off of the roof, landing on the ground. No one seemed to notice a panda and tiger jumping off of the roof, but they didn't care. They went into the home, finding Mitch stitching on his vest again. His fur was matted and his clothes out of place.

"Oh…she got rough, as I see." Po said laughing.

Mitch smiled and nodded. "It doesn't matter; I like it rough."

Po and Mitch laughed, but Tigress said nothing and crossed her arms.

"I hate dirty humor; that's why it's tough for me to live with you two." Tigress said.

"We know." Mitch said, making the two laugh again.

"Where's Ryu?" Tigress asked.

"She's still up there." Mitch said.

"Not anymore." Ryu said, walking towards them.

Her vest was not stitched all the way, and she stitched the rest up while she stood there.

"You want to spend the night here Mitch?" Ryu asked grinning.

Mitch nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't want to miss out on an extra amount of time with you."

Ryu turned to Tigress. "Make sure Po treats you like Mitch treats me."

"Oh…how did you know that we…" Tigress said.

"We could tell. You two made it obvious, you know." Mitch said grinning. "Nice job Po."

Po grinned and high knuckled Mitch, the two laughing. Suddenly, the four heard the sound of a violin outside.

"Oh, I hired a musician to come and play at the end of the party. It's so people can have a slow dance." Ryu said.

Mitch smiled and offered her his arm. "Would you like to dance?"

Ryu smiled. "Of course."

Mitch escorted Ryu out of the room, taking her outside. Po looked at Tigress, imitating Mitch's gesture.

"Tigress, would you like to dance?" Po asked.

Tigress smiled and nodded, taking his arm. "Yes I would, Po."

Po led Tigress outside as well, finding Mitch and Ryu already in a slow dance with all of the other guests.

"Have you danced before?" Tigress asked.

"I know this dance, but no, I haven't. You?"

"I've danced before." Tigress said, putting her paws around Po's neck.

Po smiled and held her back, the two beginning to dance. The violin continued to play, capturing everyone in the moment of romance. Ryu and Mitch; Po and Tigress. Things were looking promising.

**A/N: There you have it, TiPo fans! As you can see, changes are happening! But what will happen next chapter? Mitch's sister comes to the valley, brewing trouble. She is trying to destroy the friendships of the masters there, but will she succeed? I will say that next chapter is a little more intense, because there is a life or death situation. Then at the end of the chapter, there will be a big shock. Get ready for chapter 5 of this awesome story! Please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Chapter 5

**A/N: Here is another chapter of HTT straight from finishing Po Pilgrim! More chaos ensues! More "easter eggs" from Po Pilgrim, see if you can find them. And there are two inappropriate conversations in this…and if you don't know what a "bj" is…well…you don't want to know. Anyways, back to the story!**

Po sat on the floor of the Sacred Hall of Warriors, his back resting against one of the columns. A bowl of dumplings rested on his lap as he snacked, taking a break from training after the long party the night before. Everything was back to normal now…except for the fact that he and Tigress were now dating.

He suddenly heard a knock at the large doors. Expecting it to be Mitch returning from spending the night at Ryu's house, he got up and casually walked to the doors, opening them. His eyes widened as a beautiful white tigress with sea blue eyes wearing a black cloak stood before him.

"Greetings, Dragon Warrior." The feline said bowing. "I am Maegan. I have come here to visit my brother, Mitch. Have you seen him?"

Po nodded. "Last night. He's going to be back anytime now, returning from his girlfriend's house."

Maegan smiled. "Oh, they were probably 'churning butter', so to speak."

Po smiled. "Wow, I never thought of a phrase like that."

Maegan nodded. "Mitch made that one up five years ago."

"Ah, that figures." Po said laughing. "So how exactly are you alive?"

"What do you mean?" Maegan asked, puzzled.

"Mitch said that his sister died long ago." Po responded.

"Oh," Maegan said, smiling again. "That's just our inside joke."

"Well, then have you been close to him all this time?" Po asked.

"Sort of." The feline responded. "He taught me the Kung Fu I know now, and I am certainly grateful. I didn't know he was alive, nor he to me until fifteen years ago. I went separate ways, and he well...turned from me."

"What do you do for a living?" The panda asked.

"I am a mercenary." Maegan responded.

"Oh," Po said, biting his lip, "that's cool."

He knew that mercenaries were usually enemies to Kung Fu warriors, depending on who they worked for. They were despised anyways for fighting for money as they did, not taking money because of their pride in defending the innocent, but for their own gain.

Maegan nodded. "It's a tough life, but I manage."

Mitch walked up the steps. "Hey Po, I-"

He reached the doorway and came face to face with his sister, his eyes widening.

Maegan smiled. "Hey Mitch-"

Mitch grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against a column.

"Mitch, what the hell are you doing?" Po demanded.

"Why are you here?" Mitch demanded.

Maegan managed to smile under Mitch's grip. "I'm just visiting, Mitch. Do you really have to choke me for coming to say hi to the only family I have left after Fang died?"

Mitch released her from his grip, growling and turning around. "The only family left, eh? You have disgraced your family and me by the path that you took. You kill for money, and as a pastime, you steal!"

"And you turned over your own sister to the authorities, and she rotted in jail for five years." Maegan growled.

Po's eyes widened, seeing the new side of Mitch's sister. He saw the resemblance in the two; they both had blue eyes, they both were White Tigers, they both were the same height, they both had tempers, and so many other aspects about them.

"I did what a good brother must; try and teach you a lesson." Mitch said.

Maegan nodded, her anger suddenly vanishing. "And you are right; I came here not just to visit you, but to show that I have changed. I ask that I stay here for the night and spend some time with you-"

"You will not stay here." Mitch growled.

"Dude, it looks like she's telling the truth!" Po said, going to Maegan's side.

Mitch growled. "You too? You have fallen for her tricks, panda. Your mind does not get her strategy."

"My only strategy is to show that I have changed!" Maegan exclaimed.

Mitch growled again, turning from them. "Fine. Stay here, and find your room yourself."

The tiger went down the steps, not turning his back for a response. Maegan turned to Po.

"Thank you for standing up for me. He never did love me, and he considers me a liability." Maegan said.

Po bowed. "I see that you have changed. It will take Mitch a while however."

Maegan nodded. "Yes, it will."

Maegan had lied about her purpose there. Her purpose was not to visit or make things right with her brother; it was to kill him, finally getting her revenge.

* * *

Mitch entered the dungeon, going to check on the prisoners there. He went past the cells, seeing the bandits that they had captured the day before still there. He then went down the hall and came to a larger cell, looking into it through the bars. Sitting in the cell was Raksha, Victur…and the evil lord Inferno.

Inferno turned around and snarled at Mitch. "This cell cannot contain me; I will break free!"

Mitch laughed, crossing his arms. "You have been in that cell for five months after I defeated you and your buddies here. I don't think you'll get out."

Inferno bowed his head in defeat, giving up all hope of escape.

"Could you get me some food?" Victur asked. "I prefer it smothered in your blood."

Mitch laughed again. "Oh Victur, you're such a dick."

Raksha nodded. "He is right there."

Mitch laughed and walked off, the prisoners not able to escape as usual. He headed to the forest, training in guerilla warfare and also being as far away from his sister as much as possible.

* * *

"Would you like to go get some food with me and Tigress, Maegan?" Po asked.

The white tigress shook her head. "No thanks, I'd like to go work in the Training Hall."

"Ok, sounds good." Po said, hurrying to the kitchen as Tigress was already waiting for him there.

Maegan grinned to herself and headed to the Training Hall, out to sabotage it. She entered it and went to the Seven Swinging Clubs of Oblivion, which Po had said that he was about to try in order to prove to Tigress that he could do it.

"What can I do to screw this up?" Tigress asked herself.

She hopped onto one chain and loosened it, knowing that the club would move much more quickly than usual and finally fly off of the chain.

"That will certainly do. Po will be wounded, and that tiger will be distracted with him and I'll have all the time I need."

She walked back to the kitchen just as Po and Tigress were finishing up.

"Oh, hey Maegan!" Po said happily. "This is Tigress."

Tigress walked up to Maegan and shook her paw. "Nice to meet you. So you are Mitch's sister, eh? I see the resemblance."

Maegan nodded. "Yep."

"You seem nice, after what Mitch told me what you've done." Tigress said. "He must be crazy or something. Even if you did those things, I can see that you've changed."

Maegan smiled. "Oh, thanks."

"So Po, are we still on for that bet?" Tigress asked.

Po nodded. "Yeah, and as a matter of fact, I'll do it now."

"Come on Maegan, this will be something to see." Tigress said, leading Maegan out with her and Po.

They went to the Training Hall, entering it and the two females standing beside the Seven Swinging Clubs of Oblivion while Po went onto the wooden pieces.

"Alright Tigress, start it." Po said confidently.

Tigress pulled a lever, the wooden pieces beginning to spin as well as the clubs connected to the chains. Po managed to move through the clubs, dodging them and destroying them as he went. But then the loosened one came, going too fast for the panda and flying off of the chain.

Tigress gasped before it slammed into him, sending him off of the wooden pieces and onto the ground.

"Po!" Tigress yelled and rushed to him, looking at the club sticking out of him.

Two of the spikes had impaled him, luckily not driving deep into him (only managing to get into his muscle. He had three broken ribs, and winced in pain at them.

"Oh crap Po, I shouldn't have made that bet." Tigress said.

"No, it's not your fault." Po said quickly. "You didn't know that was going to happen. That hasn't even ever happened before."

Tigress nodded. "Can you walk right now?"

"With some help." Po said before Tigress helped him up, putting her paw over her shoulder and helping him out of the Training Hall.

Maegan still stood in the hall, as if she was invisible to the two. She smiled at her success, though the damage was not as bad as she had hoped.

Meanwhile, Mitch had returned from the forest and rushed to Po and Tigress, seeing the wounded panda.

"What happened?" He demanded.

"One of the Seven Swinging Clubs of Oblivion shot off of the chain and hit him. I don't know how it happened." Tigress responded.

Mitch growled, looking at Maegan exiting the Training Hall. "It was her."

"Are you serious Mitch? Blaming an accident on your sister? Seriously, what's your problem?" Tigress asked.

Mitch looked back at her. "She may seem all nice and kind, but she is really a liar and deceiver. You watch."

Tigress shook her head and took Po into the barracks, leading him into the medical room to treat his wounds.

Maegan came up to Mitch.

"Please don't think that was me. I watched it, it was an acid-"

"Accident my ass." Mitch growled, walking towards the barracks and leaving Maegan alone in the night.

The next day went by like a breeze, except for Po and the recovery from his wounds. Tigress, Maegan, Mitch, and even Po all trained, making it a normal day except for Maegan pleading for Mitch's forgiveness as usual.

Then the evening came, when things got serious…or at least, after this conversation…

Po sat on the steps with Mitch, watching the sun set. His wounds were bandaged and he was able to move around well again, a miracle for it being so soon.

"So Po," Mitch said, "what were the stakes to that bet you and Tigress had?"

Po smiled. "If Tigress won, she would get to spar against me three times a day and I would have to skip my favorite me, dinner, for a week."

"And if you won?" Mitch asked.

Po blushed. "Well…she would give me…a bj."

"A bj?" Mitch asked, shocked. "I can't believe she would agree to that!"

"Well, she did." Po said, laughing. "I think she kind of wanted to give me one anyways."

"Damn man, that was quick." Mitch said. "Then again, so was mine."

"Are you still mad at your sister?" Po asked.

Mitch nodded. "I don't trust her. Then again, I guess I've been too hard on her. She had just as hard of a life as I did, and she made a different decision in choosing her path. I should respect that as her brother. You know what; I'll go talk to her."

He got up and walked towards the Training Hall, knowing that his sister would be there.

"Glad you're making it up to her, Mitch." Po said.

The tiger went into the Training Hall and passed Tigress as she was exiting. He closed the doors behind her, not knowing that she had stopped at the doors to listen in on their conversation. He found her knocking down wooden dummies. When he entered, she finished her last foe and walked over to him.

Mitch frowned. "Look, I'm sorry about what I've said to you and how I've treated you. I should respect whatever you do since you are my sister. Can you forgive me?"

Maegan smiled and hugged him. "Of course I can. I'm sorry too."

Maegan said, already grasping a hidden dagger behind his back.

"For what?" The tiger asked.

"For this!" Maegan said before driving the dagger into Mitch's back.

Mitch's eyes widened and she pulled out the dagger, kicking him to the ground.

"You think that you can just leave me to rot in prison? How do you treat family? I will never forgive you!" Maegan said before thrusting the dagger into his chest, making him wheeze.

She pulled it out and thrust it in again, just as Tigress swung open the doors, her eyes widening at the sight.

"Maegan, we trusted you!" Tigress yelled.

"And I trusted him before he betrayed me!" Maegan roared back at her, pointing at Mitch.

Tigress ran towards Maegan but the white tigress jumped up onto the Seven Swinging Chains of Oblivion before escaping through the open roof. The feline then rushed to Mitch's side, pulling out the dagger and throwing it to the ground. She checked his wounds. A stab in the back and two in the front of the chest, one wound cutting his heart.

Blood oozed out of his mouth, his eyes glazed over. She wiped the blood from his mouth away.

"Mitch, I'm really sorry that I didn't trust you." Tigress said.

"It's…it's not your fault…it was hard to believe me." Mitch managed to say.

"I'm going to get you out of here." Tigress said, picking him up and putting him over her shoulder. "Damn it, I never expected having to carry you."

Mitch let out a low laugh before it turned into a cough. Tigress hurried out of the Training Hall, rushing to the medical room of the barracks. Po soon was there, checking on his friend.

"What the hell happened?" Po demanded.

"Maegan stabbed him three times." Tigress responded, beginning to put pressure on his wounds.

"Then he was right." Po admitted. "Is he going to make it?"

Tigress took off the pressure in the wounds and looked at the blood. It was dark red, letting her know that it was straight from the heart.

"I…I don't think so." Tigress admitted. "He's lost a lot of blood, and his heart is cut."

"No, there has to be something!" Po yelled.

Tigress then thought of the cave. "Po, there may be one thing. There is a vial in the Cave of Mysteries on Wu Dan Mountain, called 'The Vial of Healing'. It can heal the worst of wounds and any number of wounds. You have to find it!"

"What does it look like?" Po said, racing to the doorway to get a head start.

"It is golden with blue, and is at the end of the Sacred Hall." Tigress responded.

"Got it!" Po said, racing out.

"Make sure it's the smaller one!" Tigress yelled to him, but the panda did not hear it.

Tigress put more pressure on the wounds, making Mitch groan.

"Tigress…if I don't make it…" Mitch said.

"No, don't talk like that." Tigress said. "Po will come through."

Meanwhile, Po reached the mountain as fast as he could with the wounds of his own, and went deep into the cave with a torch. He went down the Sacred Hall and came to a circular chamber, vials and jars all around him.

"Golden and blue, golden and blue." Po said to himself and saw a large, golden vial. "Ah, here it is!"

He grabbed the vial and raced back to the palace, going into the barracks and finding Tigress still applying pressure to his wounds. Mitch's eyes were drifting.

"We're losing him, hurry Po!" Tigress said, and Po opened the vial and poured it down Mitch's throat.

The tiger went unconscious from the vial. Tigress stepped back; for there was nothing more she or Po could do besides wait.

"We've done what we could. Now we just wait." Tigress said.

* * *

The moon hung high over the valley as Maegan stopped on a hill overlooking it, panting. She turned and saw her brother.

"Hello brother." She said.

"Hello Maegan. Is it done?" He asked.

"I hope so. I drove a knife three times into his chest; it should have done the trick." The white tigress responded.

"Excellent, now we must go and get the others. It will take time to build up an army." Fang said, grinning.

* * *

Tigress went back into the medical room, finding Mitch still on the table. Miraculously, his wounds were healing. She smiled, glad that he would make it and scooped him up, carrying him to his room and setting him on his own bed. By the time he awoke, he would be fully healed. However, she did not realize that healing his wounds was not the only thing it did.

The morning came, Tigress waking Po up as they both went to check on Mitch. They opened the door to his room to find an empty bed.

"Mitch?" The two called, receiving no answer.

They ran out of the barracks, searching for him. They called his name again, still, no answer. They suddenly began to hear the sounds of wooden dummies breaking in the Training Hall and rushed to the building.

They entered the building and their eyes widened. Mitch was knocking down wooden dummies skillfully, a determined look on his face. However, it was not the thirty year old Mitch that they had known last night. The vial was called "The Vial of Reversal", and it reversed his age. The tiger was now seven years old.

Mitch stopped and turned to see the two, making a heartwarming smile. No scar was on his face, for he had not fought in that battle yet.

"Mom!" The young cub yelled and jumped onto Tigress, tackling her and hugging her.

Tigress' jaw dropped, and Mitch purred.

"It's good to see you." Mitch said, rubbing against her.

Po passed out, falling onto the ground. The White Tiger's memory was also fuzzy. He believed the two to be his parents.

**A/N: Whoa, cliffhanger! Mitch thinks that Po and Tigress are his parents! Wow, bet you didn't see that one coming! Anyways, Maegan and Fang will return later, but not next chapter. Next chapter comes with the chaos caused by the now cub again Mitch as Po and Tigress try to "tame" him. I will be leaving for a vacation Tuesday, and won't be back for a week. Just wanted to let you guys know that. Anyways, I'll return with another chapter of HTT, the first chapter of Apocalypse Now, another one of Love Wars, and the final chapter of Race For The Feline! Please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm back, and have already made the first and second chapter of Apocalypse Now! I'm also accepting requests to have YOUR OCs sent into 'Nam! Now on to the chapter!**

"What's wrong with dad?" The cub asked.

"He's just a little too excited." Tigress said nervously, shrugging Mitch off of her leg.

"Can you play with me?" Mitch asked.

"No Mitch, let me get your father up first. Can you go outside and wait for us?" Tigress asked.

"Yes ma'am." Mitch said, hugging her legs once more before running off.

Tigress watched him leave, sighing. He was a cute cub, and was very polite. She saw him to be so innocent; only to become a trained warrior and crave dirty humor. She shook her head and went over to Po, waking him up. The panda's eyes snapped open.

"Is that really Mitch?" Po asked, still shocked.

Tigress nodded. "You got the wrong vial. I know which one you used; he'll be like that for a week now."

"Great, so we'll have to parent him." Po complained.

Tigress nodded. "I guess so. We can't tell him that he was reversed or anything. His mind wouldn't be able to handle it."

"I don't know about that." Po said.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see him training? He trained just as good as what he did only days before he was reversed! It's as if he remembers all of his training through his life and more, except his personal memory. Now he thinks we're his parents, and we both know that his parents were killed when he was only five."

"We still shouldn't tell him. He'll call us his parents, and we'll call him our son." Tigress said, and then blushed. "Consider it training in case we have our own."

Po's face reddened. "Oh…ok."

"Now, let's go give him what a kid deserves; attention and fun, something that you, I, and even he never truly had." Tigress said, helping up Tigress and the two walking out of the Training Hall.

They looked around, finding no White Tiger cub. They called his name several times, hearing no response.

"Crap, he has probably run off." Po said as he and Tigress rushed down the steps.

They searched the valley for an hour, not finding him. Then they scoured the land outside of it, still not finding him. They then ran to Ryu's house, running up the steps and charging into it. They went through the rooms, not even finding her. They finally went to the training room, finding Ryu sitting on it with Mitch talking to her and playing with her tail.

At hearing them, the White Tiger's ears popped up and he turned to them, smiling. Ryu grinned at them.

"Go get your dad, Mitch." Ryu said, and Mitch got on all fours, charging at Po.

"Oh crap!" Po yelled, trying to turn and run but was too slow.

The tiger tackled him, biting his ear playfully to hear Po let out a yelp. The White Tiger laughed and got off of his father, rubbing his face against his and purring.

"You're getting really strong…son…" Po said, making the tiger smile.

"Thanks dad!" Mitch said, running over to Ryu again and sitting down beside her, laying his head down on her lap as she stroked his cheek, smiling.

"Sorry about that, guys." Ryu said. "I came to visit him at the palace and found him, so I brought him back with me. You're searching for him like his par-"

Tigress nodded to her to not finish that sentence, and Ryu did so.

"Anyways, I have kept him here and played with him like you two should have been doing." Ryu said smiling.

Mitch purred as she stroked him. "Aunt Ryu, how are babies made?"

Ryu, Po, and Tigress' eyes widened.

"Um…Tigress, would you like to answer that for him?" Ryu asked desperately.

"Uh…I think Po would." She responded.

Po tried to protest but Tigress kicked him in the shin.

"Well um…when a man and woman love each other very much…they…um…pray to the gods for a child and the gods send a child from the heavens."

"Is that what happened to me?" Mitch asked.

"Yes, yes that is what happened to you." Po said, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"I thought that the DNA of the father and mother mix and create the child inside of the female." Mitch said.

"Um…that's just a legend, Mitch." Ryu said quickly. "How about you go down to the kitchen? I have a big bowl of Fried Rice waiting for you!"

"YES! Thank you Aunt Ryu!" Mitch said and kissed her cheek before bounding on all fours past his parents and down the hall, leaving the adults alone.

"Well…that was awkward…considering that we did the 'actual process' at the party." Ryu said nervously.

"Oh yeah, I'll bet it is awkward for you." Po said.

"Nevertheless, I still love him just as much. He's so cute, honestly. He's polite, caring, funny, and playful. He's a perfect kid." Ryu said.

"Unfortunately, that is him where his childhood has fun revolving around it. His life was built on training and training and his heart was hardened. He never truly laughed until he was twenty-seven." Po said.

Ryu's eyes widened. "That's so sad! I don't know why he never told me about things like that."

"Maybe it was because he was sad about his past." Tigress responded.

Ryu nodded. "Anyways, I know that we can't let him know that he's been reversed. It's that one week vial, right?"

Tigress nodded. "Mitch was wounded by his own sister last night, and she escaped. It was a mortal wound, and I told Po to get the Vial of Healing. Unfortunately, he got the Vial of Reversal, and though it healed him, brought him to what he is now."

"His own sister? If I got my hands on her…" Ryu growled.

"We'll find her eventually. Anyways, what are we going to do?" Po asked, still unsure of what they _would_ do.

"Keep him happy, take him out to eat dinner for a week, play with him, etc." Ryu said, already planning it. "I like him as a cub, but I can't tell you how awkward it is since we are dating and especially since he calls me 'aunt', you know?"

"Yeah. Speaking of…" Po said as Mitch ran in, licking his lips.

"You ate it all that quickly?" Ryu asked, shocked. "That was an entire bowl of fried rice."

"I'm always hungry Aunt Ryu." Mitch said laughing.

"He got it from his father." Tigress said, nudging Po with her foot.

"Well, what do you want to do now Mitch?" Po asked.

"I want to spar against mom!" He said happily.

Tigress' eyes widened. "I don't know if that's such a good-"

"It's ok, Oogway has trained me very well for the past two years!" Mitch pleaded.

"Oh, alright." Tigress said, not knowing how she would be able to fight a seven year old.

"Thanks mom!" The tiger said happily, stepping onto a sparring mat.

He went into a stance, Tigress not knowing what to do. Mitch charged forward, and before Tigress could react, he slid under her legs and grabbed her tail, yanking it. Ryu and Po laughed as they watched, Tigress trying to get Mitch from her tail but doing so with little avail. Mitch then jumped onto her back and bit her neck playfully, Tigress yelping again and trying to shake him off.

Po rolled on the floor laughing, and Tigress ran into a wall just as Mitch jumped off of her. She staggered, her head spinning.

"I see…flying pandas." Tigress said, dazed.

She fell to the mat, Mitch going to her and sitting next to her.

"Sorry mom." He said, apologizing for banging her against the wall.

"It's ok, Mitch." Tigress said and rubbed the top of his head playfully.

Mitch then sparred against Po, instead of slamming him into the wall, he slammed him _through _the wall. Ryu told Tigress that Mitch would pay for it once he was back to normal.

Evening came, the tiger's stomach growling once again.

"Mom, dad, can we go get something to eat with Aunt Ryu?" He asked.

Tigress smiled. "Of course. Po, could your dad give us a meal for free?"

"Maybe half off." Po said laughing.

"Let's go before Mitch gets upset." Ryu said, guiding Mitch with her paw out of the room and the two following them.

They left the home and headed for Mr. Ping's shop, entering it and sitting at a table as Po ordered the food for the group. Mr. Ping served them their food, Mitch receiving a large bowl of dumplings along with Po, and Tigress and Ryu settled for Tofu.

Po looked over to Mitch, noticing that the tiger was scratching his right eyebrow with his claw…right where his scar would be in three years. It seemed that he still remembered some things, and sensed that the scar would be there or had been there. It was a nervous habit as well that the tiger had.

The White Tiger engulfed his food, while even Po ate it slowly. It seemed that as a kid, Mitch had an appetite just like Po did now. The White Tiger finished, licking the bowl for any remainder of rice, while the rest at the table had only taken a few bites of their foods.

"So, how are you two doing? You know…" Ryu mouthed the word _dating_.

"It's going pretty nicely." Po said. "I just don't know how it will go down when Shifu and the others come back."

"It will be fine." Tigress said, patting him on the shoulder.

"That's good. And when to you plan to search for you know whose sister and all?" Ryu asked.

"I don't know. We have no trace, so I can't really think of when we'll get to it." Po said sighing.

Tigress looked around, not seeing Mitch. "Wait, where did Mitch go?"

"You lost him!" Po said, getting up.

"He was sitting right here!"

Suddenly, they heard a crash in the kitchen, followed by Mr. Ping shouting. The three rushed into the kitchen as customers watched, finding Mitch stealing freshly made dumplings and running up the stairs with the food in his mouth.

"He took the dumplings!" Mr. Ping shouted. "You're giving me thirty yen for that Po!"

Po sighed and went up the stairs, going into his old room and seeing Mitch jump out the window. He gasped and leaned out the window, seeing Mitch climb onto the roof and begin to jump from roof to roof, laughing as he did so.

"I'm on it." Tigress growled, jumping onto a roof and chasing after the White Tiger.

For a seven year old, he was fast. Then again, he had already gotten two years' worth of training and his nerves had been numbed already. She hopped over the rooftops, eventually gaining on him and grabbing the tiger, pinning him to the ground as if he was her prey. Mitch was smiling and laughing.

"You got me mom!" He said happily.

Tigress growled. "Is this some kind of game to you? Causing trouble and treating it like a joke? Act like a man!"

The tiger let go of Mitch, Mitch letting a tear go down his cheek and running off again, this time jumping off and vanishing into the streets. Tigress' eyes widened.

"Oh shit," She said, and jumped off of the roof as Po and Ryu reached her.

"Where is he?" Po asked.

"I…I…I fricking scared him away." Tigress said, shaking her head.

"What? What did you do to him?" Ryu demanded.

"I…I told him to be a man, and I asked him if this was some kind of game to him to cause trouble and laugh about it." Tigress said.

"He's just a kid!" Po said.

"And now I realize that!"

"But where did he go?" Ryu asked.

"I don't know! He vanished into the street." Tigress said.

"Crap, now what." Po said.

"I say you two go back to the palace and he might come back; most kids that run away come back pretty soon." Ryu said. "I'll go back to my house, and let me know if you find him."

Ryu turned and left, leaving the two still standing in the street. They went back and paid the meals for them and left back to the palace. They waited for two days; Mitch did not come back. Tigress blamed herself, anxiously hoping that he would return so that she could be at peace.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ryu practiced in the training room of her home, breaking apart wooden dummies with her strength. It was evening now, and she heard something on the roof. She stopped her training and went onto the roof, finding Mitch sitting on the edge, looking at the sunset. He was very weak, and was shaking.

Ryu sat beside him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. Mitch slightly stopped shaking under her protection, resting his head against her chest.

"Why did you run off, Mitch?" Ryu asked in a soft voice.

"My mom doesn't love me; she's not proud of me; she doesn't even like me." Mitch said, tears going down his eyes and burying his face in her chest and crying silently.

"No, no, no. She's proud of you. Trust me, she's proud of you. And she loves you; she just has a weird way of showing it."

"Aunt Ryu, I just want to make my parents happy. And if they're not proud of me…then I should change until I get it right." Mitch said.

"No, you don't need to change. They like you just the way you are…they're just having trouble keeping you under control." Ryu said. "Do you want me to take you back to the palace?"

The tiger nodded, and Ryu scooped him up in her arms, carrying him off of the roof and setting him down. She took him into the house to get in a meal (since he hadn't eaten in two days) and the two set off for the palace. A crescent moon hung over the valley as they reached it, going into the Training Hall and finding Po and Tigress talking there.

Mitch hid behind Ryu's leg, the tigress pushing him forward to face the two. Mitch glued his eyes to the ground, Po and Tigress walking up to him and hugging him.

"We were so worried about you." Tigress said. "I'm so sorry about what I said. Can you forgive me?"

Mitch nodded, and Tigress hugged him again. Po stood up and nodded to Ryu, thanking her for bringing him back.

"Do you want to go spar now?" Tigress asked, smiling.

Mitch smiled and nodded, the two going into stances. Tigress managed to finally dodge Mitch's attacks and it ended in a "draw". The two laughed with each other, Po and Ryu watching on the sidelines.

The end of the week came, Po, Tigress, and Ryu realizing that it was the last day of Mitch staying what he was. They took him out to a last dinner, the four enjoying it and heading back to the palace. Night came, nearing midnight. Po, Tigress, and Ryu tucked the White Tiger into his bed.

"Goodnight mom, goodnight dad." Mitch said.

"Goodnight Mitch." Po said, and Tigress leaned over him and kissed his cheek, smiling.

Ryu stood at the doorway, smiling. Mitch smiled at them and closed his eyes, the two hurrying out of the room and beginning to close the door. They took one last look at him…then closed the door. They sighed, for they were sad because they would never see him like that again. Regardless, he would be back to normal in the morning.

Morning came, and the three went to his door and opened it. Now an adult again, Mitch had woken up and was stretching. He turned to them and frowned.

"If any of you call me 'son' or anything…I'll kill you."

The three laughed, and smiled.

"Glad to have you back." Ryu said.

Po and Tigress nodded, the two beginning to walk away.

"Po, Tigress, wait." Mitch said.

The two turned around, and Mitch smiled.

"Thanks for giving me a week of childhood that I never got. You too, Ryu. I now know that you guys are the only family I have left."

"You're welcome, Mitch." Tigress said, Ryu and Po smiling and nodding.

"Oh and, sorry if I was a pain in the ass for a week and calling you guys my family like that." Mitch said, causing them to laugh.

"We're just glad to have you back to normal. Especially me." Ryu purred, causing Mitch to shiver.

Mitch looked at her then at Po and Tigress. "Alright, see you guys later. I think Ryu wants to show me how much she missed me."

Po and Tigress laughed and walked out, closing the door behind them.

"When you told me that raising him would be like practice for our own kids," Po said, "did you mean it? Is that even…possible?"

Tigress smiled. "Yeah, I meant it. But let's not get our hopes up, shall we?"

"Do I hear 'boom, boom, pow about to go on there?" Mitch asked through the door, causing the two to blush.

"Quit your Mitching." Po laughed.

"Do you mean to say, 'quit your bitching'?" Tigress asked.

"No, get it?"

"Oh yeah, I get it." Tigress said, shaking her head.

The two laughed.

**A/N: Mitch is back to normal! I hope you all liked this chapter just as you did every other one! Now, back to working on Apocalypse Now (and accepting your OCs into it of course). Next chapter involves bets, and HIGH stakes. It ends with a certain female entertaining a certain panda at a certain club, if you know what I mean…anyways, please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger **by

Mitchicus

Chapter 7

**A/N: Another chapter of HTT! MAJOR sexual themes, you have been warned. And a little easter egg of Apocalypse Now is in this.**

Po sat at a table in the kitchen, Mitch in front of him with a bowl of cookies in front of him. Po was answering "yes" or "no" questions and each one correct earned him a cookie.

"Who was the first to master the One Thousand Scroll of Kung Fu?" Mitch asked.

"Tai Lung!"

"Correct," Mitch said and tossed him a cookie, the panda engulfing it.

"Where were the legendary Hattori Hanzo swords made?"

"Mongolia?"

"Incorrect, they were made in Japan." Mitch said. "Who were the most notorious villains in all of China?"

"The Wu Sisters!" Po yelled, receiving a cookie.

"Who built the Jade Palace?"

"Master Oogway," The panda replied, receiving his reward.

"Is it possible to 'make love' to someone without having sex with them?" Mitch asked.

"That's different than the rest of the questions." Po said nervously.

"Answer it, panda."

"Um…no, you can't."

"Wrong!" Mitch exclaimed. "Next question." The tiger was going to enjoy this. "Have you ever been to a strip club?"

"No,"

"Lies!" Mitch yelled, laughing. "I saw you go right into one, and didn't come back for hours."

Po's face reddened.

"Have you ever drunk alcohol before?" The White Tiger asked.

"No,"

"Correct," Mitch said, and tossed him a cookie.

"How do you know if I'm telling the truth or not?" Po asked.

"Because I can tell if you're lying, Po." Mitch said grinning. "Tigers are like that; we know things."

"That's scary." The panda murmured, making Mitch chuckle.

Little did they know that Ryu and Tigress were by the doorway, listening in on them.

"Have you ever looked at my love with lust?" Mitch asked, glaring at him.

"What? No!"

"Lies!" The tiger yelled, Po slamming his head on the table.

"This is getting out of control!" Po exclaimed.

"How many times do you jack off in a day?" Mitch asked, ready to humiliate the panda for everything he had.

"This is too personal! Stop it!" Po yelled.

"Answer it!" The tiger roared.

"Ok…two times a day."

"Lies! Do you not get it? I can tell if you're lying!" Mitch exclaimed.

Po heard giggles from behind him and turned to see the two females. Po got up and threw his arms up in defeat.

"I quit, I quit! I quit life! I can't stand this anymore!" Po said as he stormed past him.

"Quite a rage quit there." Ryu said smiling when Po was out of earshot.

Mitch nodded. "Hey Tigress, I dare you to make that bet to Po again now that he's better."

"Maybe tomorrow, it's getting late." Tigress said yawning.

Mitch nodded, and the group dissipated. Ryu went with Mitch to his room and went to sleep, putting Mitch into a terrible nightmare.

_The White Tiger paced the hall of the hospital, anxious to hear of the condition of Ryu. A doctor came out of the room and smiled._

"_It's a boy." He said happily, Mitch smiling. "Would you like to see your wife and new son?"_

_Mitch nodded and the doctor led him in, finding Ryu sitting up in the beg cradling a covered cub. Ryu smiled at him and Mitch went to her side, pulling away the covers and revealing the cub's face. Mitch's eyes widened and he gasped as he looked right at a baby Po's face, grinning up at him._

"_BODACITY!" The panda yelled, and Mitch yelled in fear._

"NO!" Mitch yelled as he fell out of his bed, whimpering and sliding on the floor.

"What happened?" Ryu asked, startled by the yell.

Mitch's eyes darted around, realizing he was out of the nightmare.

"What happened?" She asked again.

Mitch groaned and clasped his head with both of his paws, scraping his forehead with his claws.

"A nightmare. I've never been more scared in my life." Mitch said, and sat back up on the bed.

Ryu put her arm around him. "Tell me about it, that will make you feel better."

Mitch sighed. "I was in a hospital, waiting to see your condition. A doctor came out and said 'it's a boy'."

Ryu widened her eyes. "So…we had a cub?"

"That's not what's scary. Then he asked if I would like to see my wife and new son."

Ryu pulled her arm away from him. "Oh, so you had a nightmare that we were married? Is that it?" She asked, glaring at him.

"No, I would love to be married to you!" Mitch said, and Ryu softened.

"Ok, and that's sweet." She said and hugged him. "Sorry for that reaction. Continue, please."

"Ok, so I went into the room, and you were smiling and holding the cub in some coverings. I went over to you and pulled away the coverings, and I saw…Po, as a baby. He grinned at me and said 'bodacity'."

"That is pretty scary." Ryu said.

There was a knock at the door.

"You two alright in there? The condom break?" Po asked through the door, laughing.

Ryu and Mitch both growled and took a step towards the door, hearing Po run as fast as he could from them. Tigress opened the door and calmly walked in.

"Hey, what happened? I heard Mitch yell, and I know it would take A LOT to make him do that."

"Oh it was; Mitch had a terrible nightmare." Ryu said.

"What was the nightmare about?" Tigress asked, crossing her arms.

"You don't want to know." Mitch said, shivering.

"I respect that. You two should go back to bed, it's only three in the morning." She said.

"Will do," Ryu said and Tigress left, closing the door behind her.

They went back to sleep, Mitch luckily not having that nightmare again. He had happy dreams of war, death, and destruction instead…with a little bit of a certain tiger pole dancing.

Morning came.

"Mitch, wake up." Ryu said, shaking him.

Mitch smiled, still asleep. "Come on Ryu, dance for me; if you know what I mean…"

Ryu slapped him, waking him up and knocking him out of the bed. Mitch grunted as he hit the floor, rolling over and glaring up at Ryu.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Bad dream,"

"But I was enjoying it." Mitch complained.

"Too bad; now you're up." Ryu said and helped him off of the ground. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Well, it was weird; I was with Po and some other guys and we had weird weapons that sent things called bullets out of them, and we rode into battle with flying machines."

"Is that it?" Ryu asked, knowing what he was thinking about before he woke up.

"Um, yeah." He said.

"Lying," Ryu said, and Mitch nodded. He couldn't win.

"Ok, ok, it was you doing something dirty, alright? Can you just accept the fact that I can't get my mind off of you?"

"Well that's good, now I know that you won't fall for any other women." Ryu purred, brushing her tail against his chest and making his face redden through his fur.

"Ok, ok. Let's not do this here, alright? We got to go see Po if he can beat the Seven Swinging Clubs of Oblivion! And if Tigress loses…well…you know what she has to do, thanks to the new bet."

Ryu grinned. "Alright, let's go see."

They walked down the hall side by side, Ryu punching him hard in the shoulder and sending him into a wall. Ryu laughed, Mitch shaking himself off from the "playful" punch.

They entered the Training Hall and found Po already on the clubs, trying to destroy every one and make it to the other side in order to win. Tigress stood on the sidelines, wincing of what she may have to do.

Po advanced through it, smashing the clubs to bits. Mitch and Ryu grinned at Tigress, the feline beginning to shake in fear of the panda winning. The panda finished, throwing up his fist in triumph. Tigress was frozen until Mitch snapped his fingers in front of her face, knocking her out of her daze.

"I told Po where the right club is, don't worry Tigress." Mitch said grinning.

"Oh, thank you for that Mitch." Tigress said and shoved him to the ground.

Later that day, Po and Tigress stood at the gates of the Jade Palace, Mitch and Ryu behind them.

"Well, this is it Po; I'd join you but I have Ryu." Mitch said grinning, receiving a slap from Ryu.

"Have fun you two!" Ryu said laughing, Tigress' face reddening.

Po and Tigress went down the steps, Mitch and Ryu watching them leave.

"I knew Po would complete it, so I bought out the hot springs for the both of us." Mitch said.

"How romantic." Ryu purred. "When can we get there?"

"We can go now." Mitch said smiling, and they too went down the steps, but taking a different path once out of the valley.

Po and Tigress found the club outside of the valley, entering it. They came into a main room, the last stop until entering the "sin room". An employee sat behind a desk, his legs up on the table.

"Hi sir, I would like to go in and be seated in exchange for giving you this fine girl for one performance." Po said, the employee sitting up.

"Right then, go and be seated sir. We'll bring you in some wine or whiskey, whatever you prefer, and you can enjoy the rest of the shows until she gets out there as well." The one eyed wolf said.

Po went into the "sin room", which had tables to the sides of a high stage with poles erecting from them, strip dancers performing on them while men drooled. The panda sat towards the front and ordered a cup of wine, the beverage being brought to him.

Tigress meanwhile was led backstage, and the wolf threw her a bikini.

"There you go, miss. Don't hold back, and men might just start throwing money up at you." The wolf said grinning.

"Fine. Say, are you familiar?" Tigress asked.

"Um…no, you don't know me. I just work here." He said quickly, Tigress not realizing that it was the Boss Wolf that served under Shen.

"Ok, can you leave so I can get dressed?" Tigress asked, and the wolf nodded and then left.

She pulled off her clothes and put on the highly sexual new ones, and waited at the doorway. Drums were playing in the room, matching the beat of the dancers. Po did not pay attention to the beautiful, female wolves, because he was so aroused to see Tigress like this. His girlfriend, out acting like a slut.

The dancers finished and the drums stopped, the strippers going backstage and an employee coming out.

"Gentlemen, we have a special treat today. A sexy tigress from the Valley of Peace, be sure to throw her some cash!"

Men in the crowd whistled and the drums started up again. Tigress slowly proceeded to the stage. She grabbed a hold of the pole and began to spin, making Po begin to drool. She pulled herself upside down and slid herself down, the crowd whistling at the arousing display.

She then put her back to the pole and slid down there too, getting low and flipping herself where her legs were up, and climbed up the pole with her strength. Po was in heaven; he couldn't have wanted a better reward.

The dance went on four another five minutes before the music stopped and Tigress left for the backstage. Po went to the side of the stage and scooped up some of the money tossed to her without being noticed. The panda went backstage and found Tigress changed, angry at him for this.

"What's wrong?" Po asked.

"You just made me look like a slut in front of loads of other guys." Tigress said.

"But you agreed to it, and I asked you if it would be too much and you said it would be fine." Po said.

"You told me that I would dance for you alone; not about fifty men." Tigress said coldly.

Po hugged her. "I'm sorry. Regardless, you looked really hot out there."

"Well…thanks…I guess." Tigress said.

"You want to head back?" Po asked.

Tigress nodded. "I want to get as far from this place as I can."

Po laughed and the two exited the building, walking back to the valley while the sun set.

**A/N: Po wins the bet and Tigress pleases Po in a reward. Please don't flame this chapter, I warned you guys about it and everything. In the next chapter, Tigress actually pulls a prank on Mitch, but brings a great consequence; Mitch is split into two beings; one his good side, and the other his ferocious and evil side. Please review, share, comment, and please, no flames!**


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